I get nervous

sometimes......

It's strange though, cause it doesn't ever really happen that often.

My plan was to study in a cafe near my house. Trying to write a report at home is hard because there are so many distractions.

As I'm walking about the area meandering to my favorite cafe my eyes are drawn to the figure of a short girl. Round toed black army boots, a pink top tied in place with black string, reminiscent of some kind of corset- more fitting for underwear than over wear- and a black frilly tutu. It was almost as if the army had deployed a ballerina to perform an S&M reconnaissance mission in broad daylight right in my neighborhood.

I notice her eyes shoot outward at me and through my over sized sunglasses I catch her taking more than a casual glance. As we pass I turn my head ever so slightly and look back at her. A mixture of curiosity and sexual interest. Perhaps I should talk to her? No, I'm supposed to be studying, not macking on chicks.

I think nothing more and enter the cafe. Moments later she appears outside the front window where I am sitting looking out at her. She notices me, smiles, enters and takes a seat next at the table near.

When things like this happen, I generally just start talking and make conversation, but there are times when I get nervous. I don't know why. She is not spectacular in appearance, kinda cute, kinda sexy... We look at each other and smile. A mixture of interest combined with air of nonchalance exudes her. Her green contact lensed eyes cut into me sharp and with her smile I notice she has braces. This is definitely someone's sexual fantasy, even if it's not mine. I eat lunch and try to study, glancing over my shoulder at her shapely figure every now and then, only to notice that she is doing the same to me.

After some time she writes something on her diary and tears the piece of paper off. I wonder if she is going to make a pass. She sits and reconsiders, puts the paper back in her diary and stands up to leave. I follow moments later and make a quick move into the direction where she was headed. I'm feeling nervous still. Why? It feels like my heart is moving too fast for a simple nampa like this. I walk quickly up the street, looking left looking right. She couldn't have gone far. I can't see her. I've lost her. What a runaround!

From around a corner in the edge of my eyes, a pink and black figure appears.

"Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Ransom."
I can't believe I'm so fucking nervous I'm actually shaking.
"Ah... Hello.."
We talk for a few moments in both English and Japanese and I find out that she is on her way to a rock show. She asks for my phone email quite quickly, directly and unashamedly.

We started mailing tonight.

She's young. 19 years old. Lives quite far away. The fact that I was nervous makes me way more attracted to her...

homesick

Well, not really homesick- but an appreciation for some of the things back home. I was talking to one of my brothers on a skype chat and seeing him with his spacious house and wife and kids makes me see how gratifying family life might be.

I was also chatting on facebook the other day with a chick I hooked up with last time I was back there. Looking at her hot pics and her huge breasts makes me wish I was there with her. So hot. She invited me to visit her. I'm sure if I actually went there she would freak the hell out, but would hook up anyway.

I wanna go for a surf.

Simultaneous orgasms

I love them. I've been having a lot with my girlfriend of late. It's easier to get the timing down with someone you know well. Good times.
Speaking of good times, these guys know how to have a good time- climb a mountain and eat sushi AT THE SAME TIME! Awesome idea.
Check it out around 2:12.

Drunk Poetic

The other week I went to a small restaurant run by an old man and old lady and I was reminded of why I like Japan so much. I even got creative and poetic about it. It's these things that make me never lose interest in Japan.

Kushi Katsu at a ma and pop shop

Grease I eat, beer I drink

Feeling tipsy, I can't stop

battered vegetables on a stick

おわり。

I lIke being judgmental

Giving other people shit makes me feel good because I can feel like I'm actually better than someone.

Then I realize that if I have to hate other people to feel good, my life must be pretty sad.

If I were truly cool, I would just be awesome living an awesome life, too fly to hate on fools.

So I try to tell myself that I'm cool and I don't need to hate.

Having said that; I fucking hate it when hot chicks tell me their sex life sux. It's such a waste of hot chick. I was talking to my best female friend from back home and she started to tell me that her rich BF's sex sux. He's all about work. The sex is always horizontal and involves him watching TV at the same time. What the fuck is that?

And what is with chicks thinking that all men only want sex? Not the case at all! As we can see, guy above doesn't.

In addition, I, for one, don't want just sex.

I want a combination of sex, money, drugs, alcohol, power and rock music.



I would also like some tuna sashimi with wasabi and soy sauce.

Master of your domain

A friend told me that he stopped eating carbs and processed foods. Basically, he would walk around the outer edge of the supermarket and collect as many, meats, fish, vegetables and fruits as he wanted. No bread, no rice, no pasta, no anything else. I thought this was stupid and crazy and unnecessarily hard on yourself as well as unhealthy. We need carbs for energy. He said the body can use fat as an energy source and the energy is more constant than that of carbs that are constantly being regulated by insulin and are peaking and dipping all through the day.

He said that there was no use in eating a ton of energy if we weren't using any of it anyway. He said that the reduction in empty carbs would allow for more chance to eat proteins and vegetables to give my body more shape and vitamins essential for healthy bodily maintenance. I would end up feeling better and looking better.

It sounded so ridiculous that obviously I had to try.

The first week was hard. Really fucking hard- I nearly passed out during class and I could never stop being hungry no matter how much salad, nuts and chicken I ate- but after that week it became more and more easy. I'm still doing it months later and although I'm not so strict- (I drink a ton of beer and eat pizza every now and then) I still love it and don't want to go back. I initially gave myself the challenge of no beer, no coke, no carbs for a month. This really sucked, but it was great in the end.

Now I have a new challenge.

No masturbation!!

My sex drive is pretty constant and I get turned on pretty quickly. I watch porn a lot, I masturbate all the time. In other words, I'm a typical guy.

The idea of this challenge is that if I don't masturbate I will have more artistic and creative expression, more motivation to do study, I will wake up earlier and be full of life, etc, etc.

Of course I'm skeptical of this and expect the results to be me becoming horny as fuck, irritable, and possibly becoming a little creepy in the process -BUT- I have to take action to be able to back my words up.

No masturbation starts tomorrow and I will post results in this thread's comment sextion. oops, section.
'X and C' are right next to each other on the keyboard. Freudian slip already?

My fears

I feel that in life in general, monogamy is a double edged sword of happiness and torment. I wish it were just complete fairy tale ending and I found my princess and that was it. But what happens when previous princesses contact you? What happens when that hostess you hooked up with a year ago is back in town and wants to meet up? What happens when that bi girl is in town? What happens when you sit down in a cafe and you can hear what the group of cute girls next to you is saying about you in detail because they think you can't understand? What happens when you go to step into an elevator and the doors open and a really cute girl is there and she sees you and starts bushing and then gives you the eyes and you know that if you weren't trying to be 'Mr.monogamy', you would be eventually sharing a beautiful moment and a beautiful memory with a beautiful person? What happens when these things happen, but at the same time you know you really like the person you are with and don't want to ruin that?

Frustration happens.

I'm just curious why we have these social rules in place. Who was the first person to say, "one only", and then everyone else followed that rule.

At the same time, the last thing I want to do is totally abandon social norms and end up in a skewed reality that is so departed from everyone else like this guy.