Homo!

Within this blog I have explored my straight, hetro side, but never my gay side. The truth is, some guys think I'm a homo. Other guys think the opposite and that I'm homophobic. Some girls think I'm a closet gay. Generally though, I think most people see me as a normal straight guy, which I am.

Its funny to hear these opinions, but mostly I don't care what people think about me unless it affects my life, and the good thing about living in Japan is that what most people think will never affect me in anyway. I just do what the fuck I want.

So to be clear about me and homosexuality, I think of it like American football: not something I'm interested in, nor scared of, but it does look painful and not fun at all so I'd rather not participate. Its really not something I even think about at all.

On the contrary, there are times when I am forced to discuss gay issues. A few years ago, I was really confronted by a Japanese lady who I had been teaching for a while. She was in her 40's and as I found out later was on the brink of a divorce. She was paying me a lot of money to talk with her, which I was happy to do but a little shocked when she accused me of being gay.

"Its OK, I accept that Foreign people are different to Japanese people. I accept that you are gay. I'm not a closed minded Japanese person like the rest of them. I am different."
"Huh? what are you talking about?"
"You are gay, right?"
"What the hell!! No! You have got me all wrong!"
"Don't worry, I accept you. You don't need to deny your true self. Just be who you really are."
"I am..."

If I'm gay there is a league of women out there that should be very confused about the sex we had....

The conversation continued nonetheless, and I gave up trying to convince her otherwise since she seemed to have her mind set. She explained to me that as a women she had special women's intuition, something that men don't have or understand, this intuition tells her that I am gay. I asked her if it was possible to know for sure whether or not men had this intuition if she had never experienced being a man. She explained that men don't understand emotions and don't have intuition. End of story. I was beginning to think that she was referring to emotional intelligence, a type of empathetic understanding of others feelings based on vocal tonality, body language and facial expression, something that anyone can develop regardless of gender. And since I had this awareness, a mostly feminine trait, she was confusing it with homosexuality. She couldn't pin this down or understand the concept but went further to clarify.

"I think its because you are foreign, tall, blond and good looking. ALL good looking foreign blond men are gay."

AWESOME CLAIM !

I love this so much for its solid entertainment value. She had me in stitches. There I was, a pretty, young, blond foreign "homo" in the coffee shop with a middle aged Japanese mother, keeled over in a hysterical fit of laughter.

After recovering and catching my breath I explained that blond hair and blue eyes are a recessive gene, and that the reason I look the way I do is because a man with blond hair and blue eyes, my father, impregnated my mother, a woman who also has blue eyes but a slightly darker shade of brown hair. I couldn't look the way I do without parents with similar physical traits. Fucking obvious, but that was a blond man having hetro sex there. All the people of the world who look like this come about from the possibility of straight blond men. How is it possible for all these gay men to be having marriages and families?

"All blond and blue eyed men have sex only for making children. They don't enjoy it. On the inside they want to be with other men. You are the same."

I am not joking. This is actually what she said. This 40 something year old women had the world figured out perfectly. The retartedness is beyond belief and I wonder how pervasive this idea is among Japanese obasans..

My analysis of the situation: she wanted to screw me but knew I wasn't down so made up the scenario that I was gay to justify to herself that was the reason it wasn't going to happen and claimed 'female intuition' rather than face reality: Ransom doesn't sex ugly old women.

*The girl in the photo above is Risa Kasumi an AV (adult video) star. I like the elegance she brings to her performance and would love to watch something of her's right now, but I'm going on a porn strike for a while, just to see what happens. I tried it before and gave up, but this time I'm serious!