Too much sex?

No such thing!

But damn I got near close the other day. I had to spend all of the following day lying around like a vegetable, reading comics, watching anime and a crap vampire movie (interview with a vampire sux BTW). I had a plan to meet up with an 18 year old hostess I met the other week, but I just couldn't be bothered moving. Waste of a day off really.

Note* girls who don't want a guy to cheat should consider fucking him so much he has no energy to fuck anyone else.

It was the nailist's birthday so I took her to a lunch/onsen combo where we ended up as the only patrons in a hot public bath with a low dividing wall that separates the men from the women. It was also open air, so we enjoyed the view outside, started making out over the wall until I stood up and she took me in her hands. Things were getting fun until we heard someone enter. We left, keen to finish the what we had started.

We ended up in a toy museum's disabled toilet fucking hard. HA! So unromantic.

The funny thing was that after we got out we both had that, 'We just fucked' look about us; messy hair, sweat and blatant horny smiles. The day continued on thus path with a huge marathon at my place and me getting to the point where I was actually happy that she left so I could get some rest. Rare.

woo...spooky...

I woke up this morning with the idea in my head that vampires are cool. I was still half asleep and I was thinking about the movie, 'Interview with a vampire' and how I have never seen it but maybe I should. Vampires wear cool shit like vests and such. Then I began to wonder what it would be like to be a vampire. Would I have special powers? Could I fly? I'd definitely be able to stay young and good looking forever though. That's a good point. The bad thing would be eating humans. I saw enough dead bodies when I was studying in university and it never made me hungry. I was thinking about the person who made up the whole 'Dracula' idea. Was he just trying to scare people by grossing them out?

Why the hell was I thinking about vampires?

Then I properly woke up and forgot completely about the vampire thing since nothing in my life leads me to especially have any interest in Vampires. I've heard about some movie that is hot recently but I haven't really hunted it down to check it out since I don't care about Vampires whatsoever. Like, seriously, what do I care about vampires? And why was I dreaming about being one?

Then, I was talking with the massage therapist and she told me she was visited by a かなしばり, it's a kind of Japanese ghost that visits you when you are sleeping. You wake up but you can't move. Total body paralysis. She doesn't really believe the ghost part of it, and neither do I, we both kind of think it's just semi awake, semi sleeping state.

Anyway, after that, she fell back asleep and had a dream where I appeared in it as, you'll never guess this, AS A FREAKING VAMPIRE!!

WUT?!

She said I came up to her in her dream and attacked her. She was so scared she woke up.

Spooky...

Birthdays!

Two girlfriends and they both have birthdays within one week of each other. What are the chances?
Some people like drama, I prefer romance, so I shelled out a ton of coin last weekend on the massage therapist. We did some outdoor activities during the day that were hampered by the shit weather. She dressed down for it and looked hot nonetheless. We were in the forest and I couldn't stop thinking that we should be fucking in the wilderness- but things turned weird between us. She ended up giving me more relationship talk.

"You don't love me so we can't have sex anymore."
Sex is not a bargaining chip to be used to get a guy to lie about loving you. Isn't that just weird?

"I understand how you feel, but I just don't have those feelings, not yet at least. Will they come? I don't know. Anyhow, if what we have now is making you feel bad, we should stop."

How would she feel if I started waving sex over her nose saying, "I'm not going to give you sex because you don't love me."?
She would probably think I was a loser. What am I supposed to think of her?

In actuality, I think she is an incredibly amazing and awesome person who is ridiculously hot and generous, but I have a guilty conscious and I'm trying to cut down on GFs so walking away suits me right now. Lying about love on top of lying about not having other GFs is too much. I want to reduce lying as much as possible.

She was pissed off with my answer but I had dinner planned (Swiss fondue) and we spent some time chilling until she got over it. Later at dinner she was dressed up looking elegantly smoking hot and she mentioned that she regretted bringing up the relationship talk because she just wants to continue as it was. I don't think I can handle the secrecy anymore. Later that night we ended up having sex, pretty boring sex, but sex. Will that be the last time I wonder...

I had some awesome sex with the nailist tonight. She's not afraid to work up a sweat getting down. Cool. There is something about talking to her that just grips me. She is so natural and unpretentious. I love it. Her birthday is this weekend. I'm expecting a fun filled day that might involve hiking and a dinner cruise on the water, weather permitting. If not, onsen baby.

I'm gonna be a broke ass next month.

Bad day

Woke up in the early hours of the morning with the sudden feeling that someone was going to attack me. Got out of bed and really suddenly locked the front door and and windows. I have never done this before ever. I usually sleep solid as a rock. Went back to bed and saw my phone flashing. There was a somewhat angry message sent to me by the bi-hostess sent maybe 10 minutes earlier.

Went to work and Captain douchebag anti-sex wants to kill me still. He's not a happy guy right now, at least not with me.

Finished work and was walking through town on my way home and I saw my ex-GF yakuza girl on the street with her friends. The girl who I have been thinking about almost every day for the last 3 years.

This was the first time I have seen her since we broke up all that time ago in the cafe. The time where she said that she can't marry a foreign guy and her dad wants her to get married now so she has to break up and look for a husband. That sucked. Really bad.

Tonight I saw her and just stopped walking and looked at her like it was a ghost. I was in disbelief. I didn't expect to see her again, ever. She saw me and freaked out and stepped back away from my direction quickly. I saw her eyes start to go red and fill with tears and I felt the blood in my head drain and I couldn't really think or react. She waved at me and mustered up a smile. I waved back, just barely, and hesitated on whether to approach and talk or...what? Her friends started picking up on what was going on and began to look around at me. She walked on.

I turned away and felt my face flush with heat while a strange burning feeling crept into my eyes. I didn't look back. I felt dizzy. Thought I was going to fall over or something.

How much I just wanted to walk up to her and just....

Say how I feel...

No reply?

These days I think about the nail artist most. I cooked her a delicious Italian style meal at my place last week. Cooking for myself and for my friends and my girlfriends is something I'm starting to really enjoy as I get more confident with my cooking skills.

I remember her saying only a month or two ago that during sex women cum only once and that is it. She is so different now. I counted her cumming five times in our first session that night and twice again after dinner. Good food, great sex, fun conversation- Fantastic.

Talking with her is so cool and even though sometimes when I'm tired she starts speaking fast and I have no idea what she is saying, I can just enjoy watching her speak cause she is so happy to talk to me about stuff. When I'm talking to her I don't feel like I have to hold the conversation up which is such a relief. And the fact that she brings up topics that are interesting is great.

I messaged her today telling her about a new kitchen product I bought and offered her a chance to "make a reservation" and "dine at my restaurant" (my apartment), but she hasn't replied. Usually she replies quickly so I can't help but think that she found out about me from her seemingly increasing spy network. I guess these are the joys of having a vivid appearance and a guilty conscience. It's probably just paranoia and she will reply tomorrow.

The girl I talked about here told me today in a message that even though she never wanted any commitment from me, she decided that she doesn't want to be a sex friend either. She didn't like the idea that I seem to be popular amongst women and sleep with them. I replied telling her that we could just be normal friends... No reply and I don't really expect one.

I can almost remember a time long ago when my ego was fragile and being rejected and ignored like this from people I cared about would have hurt.

The Fulfillment of the Hedonist Life

"Well you seem to have the hedonist life down pat. From those who do not have that kind of life: is it fulfilling and wonderful to have all these beautiful women fall in love with you? It seems like you have the dream life. Women on your nutsack, living in Japan and eating good food, having great times drinking beer with your friends...this is what most people live for, right?"

This was a question/comment from a reader going by the name 'oldsoul'.

Where to start.....?

Hedonism is not happiness, just short term fun. People know this so I don't think that my lifestyle is what the general population live for at all. They would prefer to stand at a distance and judge others in order to justify to themselves that the way they are living is best and by not taking any action whatsoever, they can be happy with what they ended up with as opposed to taking decisive action (which may result in failure many times over) to get what they truly want.

Being passive and getting what comes my way brings me no fulfillment. My understanding of fulfillment is creating goals, striving through challenges, failing a lot and getting there in the end. My sexual goals aren't specified as 'make women fall in love with me' or get them 'on my nutsack' it's more along the lines of 'Understand sex deeply'. I think it's a goal that all men should have or at least should want to have.

Having beautiful women fall in love with me is not so fulfilling and wonderful unless I feel the same about them. If I don't feel the same it's mostly just draining. Full of obligation, demands and unfulfillable expectations. Perhaps when I was younger I would have thought it would be cool, but now I'm just jaded and know that when the going gets tough, most of these girls are just gonna bail.

Having 'women on my nutsack' does little for any deep fulfillment. If I looked at having women as a way to fulfill some sort of ego trip it should have been satisfied by now, right?
Unless I need constant reassurance to feel worthwhile..... do I need that? Can't I just be happy?

Being in Japan and eating good food is great! I do love the food and beer here. These days I don't eat much in the way of carbs so I have to cook a lot myself and this is where I have the most fun creating delicious and creative dishes that are full of flavor and nutrition. Japanese people freak out and can't imagine life without rice, but that's their culture, not mine.

I live my life dancing to the beat of my own drum and the rhythm is a smooth 70's funk- the kind you hear in old school porn baby. That's why my life is great- I do things in my own unique way and I wear a smile while I do it.

I wish my GFs were more slutty

I just want them to send me porn pictures of themselves but they are all, "No, I'm shy." and send me pics of them smiling with some food. What the hell? It's just an ass inside some panties. No face is involved. What? Your not that kind of girl? Be proud of your sexiness. What's hotter than a sexy lady? A sexy lady who flaunts it to her man. What's not hot? Overly prude women. "I am a shy Japanese women. This is our culture. We don't behave like that."
Sorry honey, but....Bullshit! You can't be ignorant of the thriving Japanese porn industry. It's world renowned for being the most deviant shit there is. Yes those are Japanese women that star in it.

Whatever.

I had one of those 'relationship talks' with the massage therapist the other night. She came over and I started to get freaky as soon as she stepped in the door. She protested endlessly. I thought she would have given up and just got into it after her top came off. Her words were "No. Stop. Bad. Quit it. Later. etc." Her actions showed slight resistance but mostly compliance. It was actually quite annoying. I was considering stopping. But Japanese chicks for some reason like to fantasize like they are a pure princess and wicked men lose control of themselves under the spell of their beauty and just have to take them sexually in the form of rape. I like to help women live their fantasies out generally, so obliged by 'losing control' and getting sexy. She loved it.

Later after cooking for her I tried to get things started again but she got protesting again. A women not excited to get it on with me is too much of a turn off for me to replay twice in one evening. Turns out she had something she wanted to say.

A bit of a 告白-

I stopped her midway. I had to tell her that I couldn't be her BF because I know that she is only in town for a limited time- she will stay until she has to move back to Tokyo. I told her that it's basically inevitable that we have to break up eventually so we would better be off keeping some distance (even though we like each other).
She cried a bit then said that she was happy that I told her frankly how it was. Then we hugged a while and she said that we should enjoy our remaining time and make many memories. I acted promptly and went down on her recently Brazilian waxed pussy. So much better bald. We enjoyed more sex a few more times and she gave me a massage and I fell asleep. I'm so happy to be with a nice and positive person. Just amazing. I wanted to say sorry that I can't be her guy, but I bit my lip cause I know that she doesn't want to hear that word.

The message I got yesterday was in English- I guess this is her way of trying to help bridge the gap. I appreciate the effort.

Thanks a lot
It was true that I spoke last night.
But we cannot me 彼女＆彼氏....
You said.

でもね、I think we able to be special someone each other
for a limited time??
I want to be committed this our relationships

How about you?

Do you have another special women??

I
Love
you

I have an instinctive cringe reflex when I see those last 3 words directed at me by anyone other than my mother. One day I will get over my fear of commitment. Perhaps when I'm having a midlife crisis I will do something crazy like propose to a woman and start a family. HAHAHA oh man.
I want to give her a big hug for her sweetness. I replied in English, ignoring her questions about my fidelity or lack thereof and told her that I like her, want to see her, but need to keep things at a distance so we don't get hurt. I doubt she understands the English which is why she hasn't replied.

In other news, homey *Charmboy had to break off all connections with his chicks because he's moving in with his spicy Latina GF. One chick that we both first met when we were on a train was sad when he dumped her but she then turned around and then asked him for my details. WHAT!? He said he's cool with it. Am I cool with it? She's cute enough... I mean, not hot like the other chicks I'm seeing, but who turns away booty? Would you hook up with one of your friend's past sex friends? She's a bit crazy though from what he tells me. Crazy in bed I wonder...Hmmm.....

Said goodbye to the Bi-S&M girl

Against popular demand from a captain anti-sex, I thoroughly had sex with the Bi-SM girl to say goodbye to her last night. It's not like I haven't slept with her already, but this time it felt much better.

We met and had some dinner at a restaurant where I spent most of the time just asking her questions about everything. She's younger than me but has experienced a lot and has her head firmly planted on her shoulders and I think she has grown a lot in her time being here. We talked about medical science research, hiking in the woods and surviving off the land, and family- turns out her mother was bi-sexual also. Quite different to the date conversation I had with the nailist earlier this week; we watched the Victoria's Secret fashion show on the net and just commented on the models. Fun none-the-less.

Anyway, back at my place and it feels like every time I kiss her it is the first time again which is so bizarre. I get nervous because I don't know how to approach it. I know she likes pain- being a 'sub' (submissive of the SM kind) but I decide to give that whole SM stuff a miss this time and just go for normal kissing. We end up making out really passionately on the sofa for about 30 minutes before I get into a position where I am behind her, she is on my lap and I'm giving her clitoral stimulation. We are still able to kiss from this position if she turns her head. She eventually hits a climax and orgasms.

We move to the mattress so she can collapse and enjoy a moment of chill. We continue making out- I want to try creating an extended orgasm in her and go about doing it until I am fucking her into oblivion and her angel orgasm face puts me over the edge and I blow on her stomach.

She is lying still recoiling from it and I notice tears. This shocks me. Sometimes a nice big orgasm will trigger a release of some emotions, which can be expected, it was just unexpected to see her crying because of the tough image she has. Her eyes are red, over flowing and locked onto me. I move in close to her just pull her tight without saying a word. She holds on to me.

We continue the night with watching a movie, having a bath, chatting a lot and fooling around some more. At one point I have a finger inside her and notice the gland inside her pussy which is responsible for releasing ejaculate getting quite full. I tell her that she is probably going to squirt soon and put down a towel. She seems confused a bit- so I ask her if she has squirted before and she gives a vague answer. This girl has spent a ton of time in underground S&M clubs, I thought she would have definitely squirted before. It turns out she has, but in the clubs everyone has masks on and she claimed that she didn't feel comfortable with having someone who's face she knew making her squirt... WTF?

In all, an educational and fun evening was had by all. Goodbye bi-girl, may we meet again in good health in the future!

Cool guys are rare

Especially in Japan where the J-guys are too busy working to hang, and the foreign guys are pretty few and far between. To be honest, I'm not really good at talking to most guys. I'm not into the stuff they are into like economics, politics, sports, cars etc. If we can talk about music we have a middle ground to start from but if we don't have that I might struggle. To be honest, if you put me in a room full of people and told me to talk to either the group of guys or the group of girls, I would be much, much more comfortable talking with the girls. I've always been this way but I'm trying to improve my social skills with guys and I think I'm getting better.

This last weekend I bumped into a cool guy at the club who is so freaking cool, it's admirable. Last time I saw him he was wearing hiking gear and threw me a high five whilst not stopping to head into the train station. The time before that he was wearing a suit and a pimpass hat in a bar pulling a threesome with two girls (who weren't so cute but I won't hold that against him) one of which I heard was his girl (wife?). This time he was in the club by the bar and I sat down and had a chat with him. He was wearing an understated brown jacket that suited him well. The kind of clothing that doesn't make much effort but looks really good. That's cool. I was complaining about some shoulder pain and he told me that his mother was a physical therapist and showed me a way to relieve the pain. Then some guy spilled beer all over his sweet jacket.

Instead of going nuts, he held his cool and said, "I'm really pissed off because this jacket is new and if these guys who spilled the drink only knew the price of it.... And what with with this material, I doubt it's going to come out. I'd get nuts, but I just don't want to make a scene. Where I'm from, if you break something you pay for it."

I could see he was really pissed but just controlling it. The way he stayed cool was a serious notch up in his cool points in my book cause I know he could easily make a scene and kick the butt of the spiller guy and have the whole bar staff back him up. Hell, I'd back him up in a second.

*************

On the other end of the scale there are the uncool foreign guys. The LBH guys. These guys are the Loser Back Home types that suddenly spring into the center of attention because they are foreign and cling to that. I never forget one LBH guy said that he was never really cool back home but now people stop and look at him when he walks in the street. In response I told him about the time I stopped and looked at a car wreck on the side of the street. It wasn't attractive but I looked non the less. Guys like this are too numerous to mention in detail but I make special exception for the serious display of uncoolness I witnessed yesterday.

One of the bi-sexual girls I hang out with is actually a foreign girl who I work with and she had a going away party to mark the end of her stay here. To be honest, this girl has to be one of the most interesting people I have spoken to in such a long time and my respect for her just grows and grows every time I hang with her. So unique and really good with banter. She is naturally good looking and has a well toned body from regular exercise, but does little to enhance her appearance. She doesn't dress in cute clothes and doesn't wear any makeup whatsoever. I'm not sure if it's due to her being semi lesbian or due to the city from which she is from, but she lacks that kind of femininity that most Japanese girls have.

I'm pretty sick of these welcoming and farewell parties to be honest but I rock on to it. Things went along as they often do- everyone gets drunk, the office girls get flirtatious and touchy feely, and talk about risky topics under the veil of alcohol influence, then bail home at the last train.

The after party rocks on to karaoke with only a few guys and girls and they slowly taper off leaving the bill up to the people who stay on to the end. That bill was fucking insane which is why I hate these things. Anyway, there are only a few of us left- the guys are drunk and are trying to compete with each other on who is the hardest drinker, heaviest lifter etc. I love singing so I'm more interested in that. The bi-girl is sitting on my lap chatting to me about how one of the guys at the office is in love with her and does amazing things for her in secret and how she finds that disturbing since statistically women outnumber men by a great mile and to be the center of one guys universe is unnatural. Then she starts making out with me. After proving his manliness in ability to drink a lot and pick up heavy shit, married frat guy comes into save the fair damsel from the clutches of sleazy me.

Now, I often notice that when a semi attractive girl goes out on the town with an attractive girl, she will do her best to ruin her good looking friends chances of getting laid and be a total bitch to guys that approach with the premise that she is 'protecting her friend from sleazy guys' when really it's based upon jealousy of her friend getting more attention than she is.

Guys however, do not do this. Guys do not hinder their friends efforts with girls. At least none of the guys I hang out with do this. Married frat guy is a pure example of why cool guys are rare and why I do my best not to hang with him and guys like him who don't get laid on the regular.

What the hell guy? Just cause you ain't getting laid at home, doesn't mean you should stop the bi-girl from getting action!

Dude grabs me, pulls me aside and threatens to kill me. "If anything undue should happen to her, I will kill that person- including you. I will kill you man, and I'm not joking. Believe me- I will kill you. This isn't a joke."
Settle down captain America! You are not saving the world and sex is not the enemy.

I offer the bi-girl stay at my place and she says that if we want to do that we have to bail right now. I don't want to bail out on the bill so I tell her to go to the toilet while I organize it. Captain anti-pre-marital-sex frat fool (who has a serious drinking problem to deal with the fact he knocked up a girl and had to marry her and is miserable about it and wants to spite the rest of the world for his mistakes) appears and grabs the bi-girl (who is off her face) while I'm settling the bill and I don't know what he says, but they quickly bail as a group after we get out of the place effectively stopping me and her from leaving together.

I'm too drunk and tired to care- (I had plans for a sex date in a matter of hours anyway) so I walk home. I wake up later with a hangover. Bi girl msgs me and wants hang out before she leaves.

I feel happy that I'm not a guy that sees sex as a bad thing men do to women. All the women I sleep with have bigger, longer, stronger and more numerous amounts of orgasms than I do. If they are having a better time than me, I can only see my sex as a gift.