Birthdays!

Two girlfriends and they both have birthdays within one week of each other. What are the chances?
Some people like drama, I prefer romance, so I shelled out a ton of coin last weekend on the massage therapist. We did some outdoor activities during the day that were hampered by the shit weather. She dressed down for it and looked hot nonetheless. We were in the forest and I couldn't stop thinking that we should be fucking in the wilderness- but things turned weird between us. She ended up giving me more relationship talk.

"You don't love me so we can't have sex anymore."
Sex is not a bargaining chip to be used to get a guy to lie about loving you. Isn't that just weird?

"I understand how you feel, but I just don't have those feelings, not yet at least. Will they come? I don't know. Anyhow, if what we have now is making you feel bad, we should stop."

How would she feel if I started waving sex over her nose saying, "I'm not going to give you sex because you don't love me."?
She would probably think I was a loser. What am I supposed to think of her?

In actuality, I think she is an incredibly amazing and awesome person who is ridiculously hot and generous, but I have a guilty conscious and I'm trying to cut down on GFs so walking away suits me right now. Lying about love on top of lying about not having other GFs is too much. I want to reduce lying as much as possible.

She was pissed off with my answer but I had dinner planned (Swiss fondue) and we spent some time chilling until she got over it. Later at dinner she was dressed up looking elegantly smoking hot and she mentioned that she regretted bringing up the relationship talk because she just wants to continue as it was. I don't think I can handle the secrecy anymore. Later that night we ended up having sex, pretty boring sex, but sex. Will that be the last time I wonder...

I had some awesome sex with the nailist tonight. She's not afraid to work up a sweat getting down. Cool. There is something about talking to her that just grips me. She is so natural and unpretentious. I love it. Her birthday is this weekend. I'm expecting a fun filled day that might involve hiking and a dinner cruise on the water, weather permitting. If not, onsen baby.

I'm gonna be a broke ass next month.