"Well you seem to have the hedonist life down pat. From those who do not have that kind of life: is it fulfilling and wonderful to have all these beautiful women fall in love with you? It seems like you have the dream life. Women on your nutsack, living in Japan and eating good food, having great times drinking beer with your friends...this is what most people live for, right?"
This was a question/comment from a reader going by the name 'oldsoul'.
Where to start.....?
Hedonism is not happiness, just short term fun. People know this so I don't think that my lifestyle is what the general population live for at all. They would prefer to stand at a distance and judge others in order to justify to themselves that the way they are living is best and by not taking any action whatsoever, they can be happy with what they ended up with as opposed to taking decisive action (which may result in failure many times over) to get what they truly want.
Being passive and getting what comes my way brings me no fulfillment. My understanding of fulfillment is creating goals, striving through challenges, failing a lot and getting there in the end. My sexual goals aren't specified as 'make women fall in love with me' or get them 'on my nutsack' it's more along the lines of 'Understand sex deeply'. I think it's a goal that all men should have or at least should want to have.
Having beautiful women fall in love with me is not so fulfilling and wonderful unless I feel the same about them. If I don't feel the same it's mostly just draining. Full of obligation, demands and unfulfillable expectations. Perhaps when I was younger I would have thought it would be cool, but now I'm just jaded and know that when the going gets tough, most of these girls are just gonna bail.
Having 'women on my nutsack' does little for any deep fulfillment. If I looked at having women as a way to fulfill some sort of ego trip it should have been satisfied by now, right?
Unless I need constant reassurance to feel worthwhile..... do I need that? Can't I just be happy?
Being in Japan and eating good food is great! I do love the food and beer here. These days I don't eat much in the way of carbs so I have to cook a lot myself and this is where I have the most fun creating delicious and creative dishes that are full of flavor and nutrition. Japanese people freak out and can't imagine life without rice, but that's their culture, not mine.
I live my life dancing to the beat of my own drum and the rhythm is a smooth 70's funk- the kind you hear in old school porn baby. That's why my life is great- I do things in my own unique way and I wear a smile while I do it.
"They would prefer to stand at a distance and judge others in order to justify to themselves that the way they are living is best and by not taking any action whatsoever, they can be happy with what they ended up with as opposed to taking decisive action (which may result in failure many times over) to get what they truly want."
ReplyDeleteSo essentially you're fulfilled because you go after what you want, and you get it? Is the acquisition itself the thing that 'fulfills' us? Is 'acquisition' the noblest virtue here? Is it what purifies our 'desires' and 'wants'? where did you learn this?
"My sexual goals aren't specified as 'make women fall in love with me' or get them 'on my nutsack' it's more along the lines of 'Understand sex deeply'."
Cool, by understanding sex deeply, do you want to know what kind of sex/pleasure compels women to stick with the sex-giver or what gives them squirting orgasms (if so, where is the depth in this)? or do you mean something else?
"Having beautiful women fall in love with me is not so fulfilling and wonderful unless I feel the same about them."
Reading your posts, I get a sense that you're not crazy about the women you have sex with. Like, there is a sense that you find flaws in them or that they're not worth you committing to them. Are you unfulfilled now? Or is the fact that you are meeting--that is, acquisition--your goals 'fulfills' you, despite the fact that your relationships with these women are not fulfilling?
"If I looked at having women as a way to fulfill some sort of ego trip it should have been satisfied by now, right?
Unless I need constant reassurance to feel worthwhile..... do I need that? Can't I just be happy?"
I don't know, bro. I'm celibate. And I'm happy where I'm at. Sometimes I wonder how it is to be a hedonist that gets any girl he wants, but I've come to the point that putting the effort in going out, meeting a woman, flirting with a woman who I think is pretty but boring and doesn't really rock the boat (that is, a girl I am not crazy about) is a waste of time for me. But you have many women you can have sex with--I don't know what the reason for this is other than you doing what you want (getting with hot girls) and fulfilling it in reality, or you performing some kind of pseudo-field research where you 'sample' as many hot girls as you can and see what the common thread is as far as what form of sexual acts makes them fall in love with you.
"I live my life dancing to the beat of my own drum and the rhythm is a smooth 70's funk- the kind you hear in old school porn baby."
Porn music? LOL. Sounds pretty corny.
oS
reply to come...
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I want to say how thrilled I am that my post left you with a smile from my "I'm a 70's pimp" quip. But if you think that is corny, wait till you see my lush rug of chest hair and my bigass sideburns. And if you continue talking cheek and giving me lip, beware lest the back of my pimp hand find the side of your face!
ReplyDeleteBOOYA!
Yea, you are hitting a simple guy with some of the big questions in life. It's not that I'm averse to this type of thinking, it's just a little unexpected and I don't really want to wax lyrical about fulfillment in life etc. in writing- it's more fun in conversation and you get the banter that you wouldn't otherwise.
The vibe I'm trying to go for on my blog here is; fun, sexy, mysterious and a little adventure/humor ALA Austin Powers thrown in. Most people don't get the humor though, but those people are the boring serious types who would rather be fashionably cool and cynical than let go and just have fun getting loose.
With you being celibate I can assume that we are both standing looking at sex from vastly different angles and the object we see is too different to be compared.
When I look at a girl I don't see myself as having to expend or invest effort or time. I don't look to her to be interesting for me or not. I just think, damn that girl is hot- I wanna talk to her, so I do. Then I think- I wanna see her smile, so I mess around with her and we enjoy some laughs. Then I think, damn, I just wanna touch her, so I do and she feels good, physically- sometimes not mentally, but we work that out. The sex I have feels good for both of us.
Its a beautiful world out there with beautiful people. Just enjoying myself around them makes me happy. Having sex is great! Why wouldn't I want to learn more about it and make it better for all involved?
It's not that deep...
I'll keep your questions in mind and think about them some more but right now I'm tired from having hardcore sex, drinking beer and eating delicious food. ;)
"it's more fun in conversation and you get the banter that you wouldn't otherwise. " Banter? I'm not looking to flirt.
ReplyDelete"When I look at a girl I don't see myself as having to expend or invest effort or time. I don't look to her to be interesting for me or not. I just think, damn that girl is hot- I wanna talk to her, so I do. Then I think- I wanna see her smile, so I mess around with her and we enjoy some laughs. Then I think, damn, I just wanna touch her, so I do and she feels good, physically- sometimes not mentally, but we work that out"
Hmm, it's that simple? Is your quest in life a form of figuring out how to best satisfy your 'natural', primal, reptilian urges? I seems unlikely because you've moved from just busting a nut (which is what most men go for) to figuring out how to give all kinds of orgasms, which essentially takes your 'hedonism' to a higher spiritual plane, where feeling good doesn't end in busting in out, but in the thought and sensation that you are facilitating a pleasure that your girls have never experienced--this is why women 'falling' in love with you is a good gauge to reinforce this idea and it's why I brought it out.
oS
p.s.--my questions are pretty simple direct and demand simple and direct answers. You don't need to wax poetic or think too hard about them.
You're not looking to flirt? Too bad honey cause I am! now come over here and let me slap that sexy ass of yours. What?! You are a dude?! Back the hell up homeboy! I'm straight and don't want no man on man action. While you're at it, give me your sister's phone number. I have some 'issues' I want to 'discuss'.
ReplyDeleteJust playing.
I wouldn't say I have a quest in life. I do think it is important not to repress our natural urges and hide them. I think it is better to understand and master them and then enjoy them.
Giving women all kinds of orgasms is not a spiritual quest I have, at least not intentionally. It's just a timid interest that grew into what others may see as an obsession.
Why is it that women often feel inadequate if the man doesn't cum during sex yet if a woman doesn't cum both men and women usually don't seem to care? Why don't men care about female orgasm? I think this is an everyday topic of importance, not really a spiritual quest.
Orgasm is directly linked to arousal. Arousal is directly linked to how people feel about each other. If a woman is emotionally involved with a man she can be aroused and have different types of orgasms than if she weren't emotionally involved. Being emotionally involved with someone, and then cumming hard as a result, is what these girls call love.
"Being emotionally involved with someone, and then cumming hard as a result, is what these girls call love."
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly my point. You've moved beyond just busting a nut, to wanting beautiful women fall in love with you and chase you. Although I've never experienced it, I'm sure it's thrilling. The reptilian urge to feel arousal is 'spiritualized'; it's more than just 'busting a nut' to feel good now, it's more about the thought of hot women falling in love with you that makes you feel good--in the end its all hedonism. I have a feeling that the scales tip there because although the women are madly in love with you, you are not in love with them. They probably express their desires for you to be monogamous but you cannot bring yourself to monogamy. How the girls feel about you and how you feel about them is not the same.
Hedonism is me. Cool.
ReplyDeleteWhat's your sister's phone number? I have reptilian urges that need to be spiritualized.