I lIke being judgmental

Giving other people shit makes me feel good because I can feel like I'm actually better than someone.

Then I realize that if I have to hate other people to feel good, my life must be pretty sad.

If I were truly cool, I would just be awesome living an awesome life, too fly to hate on fools.

So I try to tell myself that I'm cool and I don't need to hate.

Having said that; I fucking hate it when hot chicks tell me their sex life sux. It's such a waste of hot chick. I was talking to my best female friend from back home and she started to tell me that her rich BF's sex sux. He's all about work. The sex is always horizontal and involves him watching TV at the same time. What the fuck is that?

And what is with chicks thinking that all men only want sex? Not the case at all! As we can see, guy above doesn't.

In addition, I, for one, don't want just sex.

I want a combination of sex, money, drugs, alcohol, power and rock music.



I would also like some tuna sashimi with wasabi and soy sauce.

Master of your domain

A friend told me that he stopped eating carbs and processed foods. Basically, he would walk around the outer edge of the supermarket and collect as many, meats, fish, vegetables and fruits as he wanted. No bread, no rice, no pasta, no anything else. I thought this was stupid and crazy and unnecessarily hard on yourself as well as unhealthy. We need carbs for energy. He said the body can use fat as an energy source and the energy is more constant than that of carbs that are constantly being regulated by insulin and are peaking and dipping all through the day.

He said that there was no use in eating a ton of energy if we weren't using any of it anyway. He said that the reduction in empty carbs would allow for more chance to eat proteins and vegetables to give my body more shape and vitamins essential for healthy bodily maintenance. I would end up feeling better and looking better.

It sounded so ridiculous that obviously I had to try.

The first week was hard. Really fucking hard- I nearly passed out during class and I could never stop being hungry no matter how much salad, nuts and chicken I ate- but after that week it became more and more easy. I'm still doing it months later and although I'm not so strict- (I drink a ton of beer and eat pizza every now and then) I still love it and don't want to go back. I initially gave myself the challenge of no beer, no coke, no carbs for a month. This really sucked, but it was great in the end.

Now I have a new challenge.

No masturbation!!

My sex drive is pretty constant and I get turned on pretty quickly. I watch porn a lot, I masturbate all the time. In other words, I'm a typical guy.

The idea of this challenge is that if I don't masturbate I will have more artistic and creative expression, more motivation to do study, I will wake up earlier and be full of life, etc, etc.

Of course I'm skeptical of this and expect the results to be me becoming horny as fuck, irritable, and possibly becoming a little creepy in the process -BUT- I have to take action to be able to back my words up.

No masturbation starts tomorrow and I will post results in this thread's comment sextion. oops, section.
'X and C' are right next to each other on the keyboard. Freudian slip already?

My fears

I feel that in life in general, monogamy is a double edged sword of happiness and torment. I wish it were just complete fairy tale ending and I found my princess and that was it. But what happens when previous princesses contact you? What happens when that hostess you hooked up with a year ago is back in town and wants to meet up? What happens when that bi girl is in town? What happens when you sit down in a cafe and you can hear what the group of cute girls next to you is saying about you in detail because they think you can't understand? What happens when you go to step into an elevator and the doors open and a really cute girl is there and she sees you and starts bushing and then gives you the eyes and you know that if you weren't trying to be 'Mr.monogamy', you would be eventually sharing a beautiful moment and a beautiful memory with a beautiful person? What happens when these things happen, but at the same time you know you really like the person you are with and don't want to ruin that?

Frustration happens.

I'm just curious why we have these social rules in place. Who was the first person to say, "one only", and then everyone else followed that rule.

At the same time, the last thing I want to do is totally abandon social norms and end up in a skewed reality that is so departed from everyone else like this guy.

The Bi is back in town

The bi girl who hooked up with on several occasions, and the girl who contributed to my strangest date ever, is back in Japan for a short time. A month perhaps. I heard it on the grapevine, not from her personally. She hasn't contacted me at all and I don't think she will. But I'm sure if I contact her she will be down to hang out, which I would like to do, without crossing the friend boundary. I just kinda know myself and know that when I'm in an isolated place with a girl, I generally try to get physical. I have no self control. Hanging with her in a group would be best.

Perhaps not meeting up at all would be best?

I was just thinking the other day how I have come to enjoy... well not enjoy but...'crave' no, no, crave isn't the word either, 'want' is best- I want a bit of pain with sex, and would like it if my girlfriend would bite me somewhere or tear her fingernails down my back just a little.

I think this bi girl has turned me.

Guys who don't speak Japanese

There's a guy who lives near me. He's a quite fashionable foreign guy (rare), average in looks (common), short in stature and more or less 'emo'. I came across his diary one time on mixi and it was mostly emo self pity I hate myself cause the girl I slept with won't return my calls crap. He can't speak Japanese, or if he can, he hides it really well. We give the 'whats up?' and share a quick couple of words when we bump into each other.

The thing is that I have seen him with 2 different girls who I would actually sleep with.

When I see foreign guys, I see with them an average looking girl hanging off their arm; women with specific gaijin interest, women I couldn't bear to spend too much time with. White guys don't get hot chicks in Japan and the only guys that I have seen doing so are a few friends, including Nubreed. White guys generally don't get hot J-chicks because hot J-chicks rarely learn English and have foreign interest. The only way to date them is to speak their language.

'Language isn't necessary, it's how you present yourself that counts'. This is bullshit. GUYS don't care about language, we will fuck anything that looks good. WOMEN need to know what is going on inside the head of the guy, even if he looks good. They need to know his character UNLESS she is lacking in options (hot girls aren't) or has a huge fetish (rare). In which case she would have spent some time studying language. Hot Japanese girls are especially impatient with people who aren't in their circle and the only way to overcome that is to be able to communicate verbally with them.

The emo guy baffles me. I don't know how and where he picks up these girls. I mean, they aren't hot- but they are decent, and he doesn't speak Japanese. The way they look at me when I say 'hi' shows me that they do have that foreign guy urge. I should congratulate him but I'm mostly just confused.

Payback time!

First a quick update on my situation right now. I was two-timing a Massage Therapist and a Nailist along with other random hookups. Those two had their birthdays very close to each other, and I gave them both very special days- The Nailist had this kind of day- while the the Massage therapist had this kind of day. I ended up cooling things off with the massage therapist almost completely after that day and all other random hook-up girls I haven't bothered to go after despite getting the occasional, "Please pursue me." type of invite.

And my birthday came. Payback time baby.

I still had a plan to meet up with the Massage therapist for my B-day, despite our communication being totally cut down to a minimum, on my behalf, but first I was seeing the Nailist- the apple of my eye right now. We are pretty much monogamous BF/GF. I wasn't sure what to expect seeing that I gave a fun filled day with suspense and adventure and presents, but I was thinking cosplay would be in there.

We met and she had no plan. She paid for lunch, gave me a t-shirt, we had sex, watched a movie (I had to pay for my ticket), then had more sex and I made dinner. Kinda normal day. A little bit of a let down. No cosplay whatsoever.

Next day I met up with the massage therapist who I was really stressing about seeing. I wanted things to be over with her, but she is being pretty persistent...

She had an amazing day planned and spared no expense. We went to an aquarium, had lunch, saw an imax movie, went to a nice restaurant for dinner, drank champagne and ended up back at my place where she gave me a stylish watch. I often forget that she is from a rich family by the way that she works so hard and is so humble. She kept saying that she wanted to take me to a nice hotel for the evening, but I had work the following day so we couldn't. The thing is that when I am on a date with her it's like babysitting so generally I just degenerate into acting like a child also. Which doesn't bother me, but there are times when I yearn for normal conversation. Can you imagine speaking to someone who doesn't even speak their own language properly. It's like talking to tweetie-pie. Fun for a while but a lot of the topics I try to bring up are a total miss and they go nowhere so I have to look for simpler things that she can relate to, and remember we are talking in a language that is foreign to me so it can't be that difficult to start with. This is what happens when you date women based solely on their looks.

Anyway, she gives me the watch and I'm pretty moved by it- so I give her a hug. It turns into an extended hug where I am lying on top of her and we are squeezing each other to death. I really didn't plan to have sex with her. The whole day she was all touching me and I really didn't want to go back there, but it was happening. Holding her slender body close to me while feeling the texture of her soft smooth skin made me forget my plan almost completely. She had pushed her breasts onto me more than a few times that day, and now I could feel them pushing up against my chest. I had been thinking about them all day, but I had also been thinking about my girlfriend, the Nailist. I wanted things to be going normal with her. I didn't want to be living out of secrecy and deception. I wasn't going to do this, I wasn't going to be this guy anymore...

Or was I?

This girl spent a ton of cash. Was she expecting something in return? She was stroking my hair and holding on to me not letting me go from on top of her.

I moved back and looked at her.

She started making out with me.

We got naked and hit the shower.

We washed each other well, paying special attention to her awesome tits. Shower sex followed. She is so hot.

She stayed the night and although I just wanted to fuck her senseless all night, I vowed not to. It's my subtle way of making her loose interest in me.