Mailing

There is nothing I despise more than mailing girls on the phone. Its a waste of time. Unless its a GF. But even then sometimes its just mendokusai. With girls I haven't slept with, a lot of the time they won't write back. Even more times they will write back, but wont to go on a date. Sometimes there will be mail contact for months before they agree to go on a date. Its such a bitch! So with the understanding that most girls will just disappear after I picked them up, or take forever to meet up, I try to be more time efficient by picking up a ton of girls and mailing a ton since most will end up flaking eventually.

So spending the whole day Friday around the house and only having to work for a few hours in the evening, I tried cooking a new dish. A spicy recipe I learned while in Thailand last time I was there. I took a photo and decided to use it as a conversation piece in some of the mails. I have detailed all the mail exchanges that took place on Friday and Saturday. Consider this Japanese study and an insight into the inane conversation I spout with the ladies of Japan. BTW- a lot of my Japanese is fucked up. I sound more like an infant than a man. Sometimes intentional, sometimes just cause I suck. This is 'cute'.

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Booty chick. I picked up on the street a few weeks ago. We've been hooking up for sex and suddenly she canceled our date for last Monday citing that she doesn't want a sex friend. Then I bumped into her on the street with her friend, shared an awkward hello, then she messaged a few days later saying that she was lonely and was I angry? No I wasn't. We made up. She said she loves me. I don't believe this. I think that Japanese girls say this not because they feel it, but because they want to hear it returned to them. Whatevs. I send her a mail plus photo attached.

今日、少し時間があたから新しい料理を作ってみた。Cashew Chicken! まぁまぁけど今度もっと美味しく作る。
I had some time so I tried out this new new dish called cashew chicken. It was OK so next time I'll make it better.
美味しそう〜 ちゃんと自炊してえらいね こんど私にも作って
Looks good. You really cook for yourself right? Next time make it for me.
そうするぞ 今回は練習からね
Sure thing. This time was practice.
やった〜 楽しみにしてるね
Awesome. I'm looking forward to it

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Model This chick is a fashion model. Gorgeous, tall, confident. Totally my type. She speaks some English too. She will be moving to Tokyo to further her career soon. If I can get her for one night of passion (or more!) before she goes I will be so happy.

Hey Model Check this out! I made cashew chicken
美味しそー！ You cook very well!! And are you OK?? もう風邪は治った？？ 私もまたreturnした。。。喉が痛いよーぉ
Looks good. Are you OK or did you get better? I had a relapse too. My throat hurts!!

We have both been a bit sick lately. I like how we can use both English and Japanese. Not so much in these mails, but others more so. This is my ideal situation. She can learn and I can learn and we can enjoy doing it from each other. She isn't trying to keep me from using Japanese, which is a total turn off, and she is trying to learn more about the world through English to further her reach in life. Cool!

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Suga mama 1 Things are getting quite heavy with this lady, even though we haven't slept together yet. I msg in English for fun.

Today I made cashew chicken. It was too salty. Next time it will be delicious.
めっちゃ美味しそう。。。それなのに辛かったん？？私にも今度作って〜！！ I LOVE YOU SUGA MAMAってメールかなぁと思ったのに残念 SugamamaはRansomの事だ〜い好き
Damn that looks good. And even still it was too salty? Make it for me next time. Actually, I thought you were going to send me a mail saying I LOVE YOU, but I guess not. Too bad. I loooove you!

You don't.

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Nailist 2 This chick is another nailist I met and won't meet me but keeps replying. She will only met with her friend and if I bring a friend also. This is bitching me off since I just want to meet her without friends, but she is too hot to ignore. I have finally managed to get a guy for her friend.

今日少し時間があたからcashew chicken 作った。 初めてやからちょっと塩入れすぎた 今度もっと美味しく作るぞ。
I had some time so I made cashew chicken but I put too much salt in. Next time it will be good though.

おつかれさま！ 返事めちゃめちゃ遅くなってごめん Ransom探してくれてありがとう 楽しみやわ カシューチキンって読むの？
Suup! Hey, my reply was seriously late coming. Sorry. Thanks for finding a guy for us. I'm looking forward to meeting up! Do you call that cashew chicken?

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Gyaru- This chick is hot. I doubt she has an attention span longer than 5 kanji characters. I keep it to the point.

久々 元気？ Long time. How you doin?

No reply

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Gyaru2- This chick also is really sweet. So hot. Want to touch. Again, simple mail.

Gyaru! 久々 元気？ Hey girl, long time. How you doin?

元気よ Good!

I mailed the next day asking what she was up to. No reply.

ーーーーーーーー

Nurse- This chick likes to try to speak English. She used to be a student and gave me her details when she finished up. Its been a while since I had correspondence with her though. I was wondering what her reaction would be.

Nurse! long time no see How are you? I'm just writing to say, "hello".

Hi! Ransom. Thank you for your "hollo" Long time no see right. Are you fine? the move my hospital is July 1!! I just pack some medical refuses every day My study English is narrowly a light in my daily life. I miss the happy time with you!!

Thanks for the reply Nurse. Sounds like you are so busy these days... If you have time, 今度飲みに行こう。(lets go drink)
今度、飲みに行こう It's good phrases. And good idea, Ransom. Meeting you will be fun!! But I know you are a hard worker and busier than I. Can you really make times for us??

We went on to organize meeting up, which happened the other night. She was not looking so hot, but was pleasant nonetheless. More interesting than many girls I date, but still not actual interesting. And she was doing that shit thing where she just tries to speak English the whole time and I can't understand what she is saying cause her grammar is mangled...She suggested going to a wine bar after we had been at another place. I suggested the bottle of wine at my apartment which she quickly declined. We know each other very well and if she still has no interest in being in my place with me alone then I think she is the type who really needs a guy with a much slower pace than me. Or, she just doesn't like me. Either way, I won't see her again. Its better for us this way. She wrote again after saying thanks lets meet up again.

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Suga muma2- This woman is truly unique. She is very curious, asks so many questions and talks a LOT of crap. I find it fun.

子猫ちゃん 今日cashew chickenっていう料理を作ってみた。 美味しそうでしょう 今から仕事頑張る。
Hey kitten. I made cashew chicken. Doesn't it look good? I gotta work now.

Cashew chickenってどんな料理？ 凄いなぁ〜趣味は料理？ もてそ〜 でも今から仕事って普通終わりの時間じゃない？ 頑張ってるね〜さすが先生。。ヒューヒュー 私は今日は飲みに行くよ〜 暑かったしムッチャ、ウォーキングしたからビール飲んじゃいます。
What kind of food is it? Amazing! Is cooking your hobby? You are working hard as always teacher. Hahaha. I'm gonna drink today. Its so damn hot and I walked so much I can't help but drink beer.

写真は付いてなかった！I didn't attach the pic!

うわぁ！ムッチャ美味しそ! プロ級じゃない プロポーズしてまいそうやゎ。
Whoa! Shit thats like pro level good. I think I'm gonna propose to you.

仕事休憩です。プロポーズしてくれる？ Lucky me でもあの料理は塩辛かった。。。今度はもっと少ない塩入りま〜す。 今沢山水飲んでる もうビール飲む？今日よく頑張ったね。お疲れさま。俺は１０時まで.
I'm on a break. You're gonna propose to me? Lucky me, but the food I made was too salty. Next time I'll put less salt in. I'm drinking so much water now! You already drinking? You worked so hard so you deserve it. I finish at 10.

もうビール飲んでるよ。 早すぎて知り合いのお店まだやってなくてー人寂しく飲みまくり 最早、酔っぱらいはこの町でも私だけよ
眠い
I'm already drinking. I was too early to get into my friends bar so I'm drinking by my lonesome self. Even though its the center of town, I'm the first one drunk. I'm getting sleepy.

おもろい子猫や〜ん 仕事ないんなら一緒に飲むよ。だけどあるから残念。ビール大好き。
You are a crazy cat. If I weren't working I'd go there and drink with you. I love beer.

There was more back and forth about nothing then she invited me to have a glass with her once I knocked off. I went, we chatted a lot, had a good time, ate food, drank beers. She paid for it all (yes!) and I sent her on her way.

今日ムッチャ楽しかった。７、３に黒ぶちメガ超タイプっす またプロポーズしそうでヤバかった。テヘッ。また飲みに行こうね。今日はありがとう。 その時はバラ盗んで来てよ
I had so much fun tonight. I loved those black frames you were wearing. You are so my type. Shit I think I'm gonna propose. HA. lets go drinking again. Thanks for tonight.

Before you propose, by me a pair of jeans and a new guitar! HA!

Suga Mama Fuka

Now you have to admit, I do come up with some interesting titles.

I stood there in the mens select clothing shop on the last day of their pre summer sale. The sale clothes that remained were crappy. I looked at the jeans that weren't on sale. They looked loose fitting, light and suitable for the humid Japanese summer. I could imagine rolling up the legs to make them even more comfortable. They would perfectly match a few of the tops I already have... I wanted them. I looked at the price tag and realized that I should think it over first...

Wouldn't it be nice to have the money to whimsically buy what I want? Well, I guess, but then the satisfaction and appreciation wouldn't be so deep. If I got someone else to buy me the things I wanted, would I still enjoy and appreciate them? Would I feel as happy if I had bought them myself? Would I just feel indebted, bitter at the position of weakness I'm placed in? Or would I feel like I'm appreciated?

I don't know. But right now I just want the fucking jeans!

So I have decided to take on a 'Sugar Mama'. I hope to receive things of material value, in exchange for emotional support and 'fun time'. This is Japanese culture. People with money use it to buy all sorts of things, but at the end of the day, its the feelings that they miss. They then go to special bars to meet attractive youthful staff and pay for an emotional fantasy based on greed, self satisfaction and self delusion. Every culture has its drugs.

So the first candidate is a woman around 10 years my senior. She is divorced and is raising a schoolboy and I can only guess that the divorce settlement was considerable because she still isn't working, doesn't plan to, and lives large- very large. Very attractive and highly confident woman. She has already shown traits of being manipulative by trying to push emotional buttons, getting clingy and acting like a spoiled brat... which I'm immune to anyway so I don't care, but she also has a sweet child like side to her that is so cute and makes me laugh.

She is taking me on an expenses paid holiday sometime next month and has already bought me a few small things here and there.

Second candidate is a fashion designer somewhere in her 30's and I'm not sure if this is actually going to work out since I don't think she has as much disposable income as I first thought. Well, disposable income is one thing, but being willing to break off the cash is another. I think she has cash but will be reluctant to use it. She is attractive, charming, quirky and artistic.

I'm interested to see how this saga unfolds...

Herbivore/Carnivore categorizing men

草食系男子 Reads in English as 'Soushoku kei danshi' and has the English translation as 'Herbivorous men'.

肉食系男子 has the reading as 'Nikushoku kei danshi' and means 'Carnivorous men' in English.

These are classifications that Japanese women use to describe guys.

Herbivorous boys care for their appearance, care about fashion and may do diets. Herbivorous boys are non confrontational, passive, meek, shy and have no problems going on dates that involve no sexual activity. Often ambivalent and indecisive, they like to get to bed early, read books and listen to music.

I hate these guys cause they are weak ass pussy girly men.

Carnivorous guys care more for sports than personal hygiene and the arts. Hair and clothing styles are functional over fashionable, conversation lacks wit but is fruitful and brutal in both honesty and careless grunts alike. These guys go after what they want without making any hesitations. They aren't delicate and won't break in half the moment you touch them or take a stab at their ego like the herbivorous guys would. But they are so headstrong and prideful its hard to mess around and have fun with them.

I hate these guys cause they are chump ass try hard jock macho homos.

I asked a couple of girls which one they think I was. They said I was herbivore. I was like, "Fuck that! I ain't no pussy bitch." Then they were like, "Well OK then, you are a carnivore." So I was like, "Shit! You really think I'm a jock? That sux." Then they were like, "Well I dunno. Don't ask!"

So I was like, "RAAGH!! I hate everyone!"

Then just now, I was watching TV. Some chicks were talking about guys. One of them said that she likes 'Cabbage roll guys'. Guys that appear as herbivores but are carnivore on the inside like the dish with the same name that has ground meat wrapped inside a cabbage leaf.

Cabbage roll guys! As if this classification system couldn't get any more ridiculous?

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Unrelated story,

I was on the train the other night, on my way to see Cecil, and two gyaru with two gyaruo stepped on to the train. The chicks were fucking hot and the guys, well of course they looked like douchebags by default since I'm jealous, but they were actually ugly looking despite the cool coordinated fashion.

Most Japanese people when they talk about me don't do much to cover it up since they don't really expect me to listen and be able to understand. This particular group said, "He's unexpectedly good looking for a foreigner." Then the dude was giving the girl shit and told her to say it to my face in English and she was like, "No way. I don't speak English."

This kind of thing happens on average, a few times everyday. Guys and girls point, look and make comments. Sometimes I talk to girls who comment on my appearance and try to get a date going but despite their feigned interest it rarely goes anywhere. Its such a waste....

I met up with Cecil and we had some drinks at a bar and started to get trashed while playing Jenga and throwing darts. Then by chance the double couple of gyaru from earlier on the train walks in. I turned to Cecil and told her that they were sitting opposite me on the train and I liked his style and I wanted to know where he got it from. Then they saw me with a dolled up gyaru looking extra trashy- she still has blond extensions in and was wearing them up on top of her head and had been tanning a lot recently. They all grabbed each other, and broke into muffled conversation. Yeah, you muffle it now.

I was like, "I'm hungry, lets go get some food."
She was like, "What are you in the mood for?"

I don't want much in the way of carbs cause I'm on a diet, but I would like a mixture of both something that contains plant foliage to aid digestion and help roughage along with some flavorsome meat for protein to make my body hard as fuck.

"Do you know anywhere around here that sells cabbage rolls?"

LoLz. I don't think I'm ever going to fit into any category aside from "foreign guy". I sure as hell ain't gyaruo. Cecil keeps encouraging me to spend more time at the tanning salon. I don't think she understands that I'm white.

Running Game

One of my co-workers lost his job a while back. He unceremoniously faded from the workplace without a trace. I noticed his absence after some time. Upon inquiry it was found that said co-worker had been warned of sexual harassment in the workplace for several isolated incidents. Despite repeated warnings he harassed a client who in turn complained to the company. It apparently went something like this.

High likelyhood (?)

I just got a mail from a chick I met a few weeks back saying almost directly that she will come over to my place, dress up as a nurse and take care of me. I got a boner just reading that. For real.
Lets see if it happens.

Wiggin out

Recently I've been listening to hip hop music and listening to black comedians. Damn those guys are funny. I hope it hasn't influenced me too much.

Nampa Biatch (spoof)

Wassup Haterz? Still hatin? While you were sleeping your homeboy Ransom was on the streets preachin- preachin to the honneyz about his mad shlong. BAM!! You say that this blog be random? You ain't even seen random till you seen wigger Ranz punch out a blog entry.

This story is for the fools who think I ain't hard as, and just some soft piece of putty. I have only one thing to say to you bitches; you think I is soft? wait till you take off your pants and you will see some serious softness going on. SHAAZAM!

ANYwhoo...There I was chillin with my crew on the street corner, slammin beers, wishin that my sweet ride wasnt in the shop gettin pimped out so I could cruise around, pick up and roll with some honeyz, when out of the corner of my eye I see some FINE ASS with some FINE TITTAY! She was struttin her bumpin shit down the street, flippin off her hair like she want us boyz to look in her direction.

While fools be stammerin, Ransom be runnin! Runnin up to her swayin bubble butt, runnin game, fo real.

Damn right! Your homeboy Ransom was like up on that shit like white on rice. WHoa sNaP!! That true cause I is white- and she be like, one of them azn honeys with that round butt EATIN RICE! YEAH!

WHITE ON RICE!!

You still hatin playa? You aint a playa if you be hatin. You just a hater. Don't hate the playa, hate the game fool!

Next up I'm like, "Where you headed honey? I saw you back there lookin at your boy here. Don't be frontin with no attitude."
She be all like, with the big wide open eyes, lookin at my shit like she aint seen a playa with real game before. She be all like, "Nani? Nante? Eigo wakarahen."
JIZZ!
This point I know its on. It on like DONKEY KONG! On like, SO on. Its ON to the break of DAWN!
"Yeah baby girl. Why don't we all have a drank somewhere quiet? Just you and me."
She be all in my face like, "ima tabako suu yade. Tomodachi machawase tokoro. Akan."
"Why you all frotin like you aint down? C'mon baby girl. You know you can't resist. Fo shizzle."

She be all like, ok, but just until my friend comes. YEEEAA HOOOOO! We get up in the bar and she be all over my shit in the club like- RICE ON WHITE!! YEaHaa. We get it on a little and I'm like, "baby girl, I know you have to be meetin your girl now. But later we gon meetup and it'll be like all cool." She be like, "Fo sho!"

Fo real, y'all. ALL dat ass is gonna be bumpin up in my crib. Look at me now bitch!

Next day she comes over. What can I say playas? You know how it goes. Haterz, you wouldn't know because yo bitchass aint seen no fine ass get near yo shit. There it is fools. This is how a real playa playz. Let me just say that when she got through the door it was like, sushi on the couch- an I aint talkin about food here, I be talking about raw azian. RIGHT!!

Damn that honey had some fine tittay!

-Wigger Ranz OUT!!-

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Events above are based on non fictional event that occurred to the author typed in by an alias character for self amusement purposes. Plus, I like to keep it crunk and fresh for my homeys.

Kyabajo metal!!

YEAH!!

Inter-racial slut

The biggest cockblock between me hooking up with the girls I want to hook up with, is their own self image.

Being a foreigner is a taboo. Having sex with one is an even bigger taboo. I think that the majority of Japanese women, despite what most people might think, don't want to have a self image that they are inter-racial sluts, sleeping with foreign men. They don't want to deal with telling their family and friends that their boyfriend is not Japanese. They don't want to deal with people giving them a hard time for doing something reckless like giving into a fantastical desire.

Indeed there are some girls who accept their preference, or don't even have a preference but accept inter racial relationships, but the majority of women I meet, from Japan and elsewhere, can not fathom the idea that my last girlfriend was Japanese

This is hard for many people to realize from the outside. The amount of xenophobia that is shoved in my face everyday in this country is something I'm almost completely immune to, but reminded of at times.