Nampa Biatch (spoof)

Wassup Haterz? Still hatin? While you were sleeping your homeboy Ransom was on the streets preachin- preachin to the honneyz about his mad shlong. BAM!! You say that this blog be random? You ain't even seen random till you seen wigger Ranz punch out a blog entry.

This story is for the fools who think I ain't hard as, and just some soft piece of putty. I have only one thing to say to you bitches; you think I is soft? wait till you take off your pants and you will see some serious softness going on. SHAAZAM!

ANYwhoo...There I was chillin with my crew on the street corner, slammin beers, wishin that my sweet ride wasnt in the shop gettin pimped out so I could cruise around, pick up and roll with some honeyz, when out of the corner of my eye I see some FINE ASS with some FINE TITTAY! She was struttin her bumpin shit down the street, flippin off her hair like she want us boyz to look in her direction.

While fools be stammerin, Ransom be runnin! Runnin up to her swayin bubble butt, runnin game, fo real.

Damn right! Your homeboy Ransom was like up on that shit like white on rice. WHoa sNaP!! That true cause I is white- and she be like, one of them azn honeys with that round butt EATIN RICE! YEAH!

WHITE ON RICE!!

You still hatin playa? You aint a playa if you be hatin. You just a hater. Don't hate the playa, hate the game fool!

Next up I'm like, "Where you headed honey? I saw you back there lookin at your boy here. Don't be frontin with no attitude."
She be all like, with the big wide open eyes, lookin at my shit like she aint seen a playa with real game before. She be all like, "Nani? Nante? Eigo wakarahen."
JIZZ!
This point I know its on. It on like DONKEY KONG! On like, SO on. Its ON to the break of DAWN!
"Yeah baby girl. Why don't we all have a drank somewhere quiet? Just you and me."
She be all in my face like, "ima tabako suu yade. Tomodachi machawase tokoro. Akan."
"Why you all frotin like you aint down? C'mon baby girl. You know you can't resist. Fo shizzle."

She be all like, ok, but just until my friend comes. YEEEAA HOOOOO! We get up in the bar and she be all over my shit in the club like- RICE ON WHITE!! YEaHaa. We get it on a little and I'm like, "baby girl, I know you have to be meetin your girl now. But later we gon meetup and it'll be like all cool." She be like, "Fo sho!"

Fo real, y'all. ALL dat ass is gonna be bumpin up in my crib. Look at me now bitch!

Next day she comes over. What can I say playas? You know how it goes. Haterz, you wouldn't know because yo bitchass aint seen no fine ass get near yo shit. There it is fools. This is how a real playa playz. Let me just say that when she got through the door it was like, sushi on the couch- an I aint talkin about food here, I be talking about raw azian. RIGHT!!

Damn that honey had some fine tittay!

-Wigger Ranz OUT!!-

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Events above are based on non fictional event that occurred to the author typed in by an alias character for self amusement purposes. Plus, I like to keep it crunk and fresh for my homeys.