男性の中には、女性から見て魅力的な部分があるにもかかわらず、恋愛対象としてはNGとなってしまう人もいるよう。今回は『オトメスゴレン』女性読者に聞いた「『モテそう!』とは思っても、彼氏にはしたくない男性」の特徴を紹介します。
Amongst men, there are guys who girls see as charming, but nonetheless don't feel romantically inclined towards them. We have now found out from the female readers of 'otomesugoren' the characteristics they don't like of these guys who seem popular with girls.
【１】誰に対しても平等に優しいため、異性として意識できない
「友 達としてはいいけど、付き合っても自分以外の人にも優しくしそう」(20代女性)と自分だけの特別感が感じられなそうで彼氏候補にはできないという意見が 多いようです。女性に優しくするときは「○○さんだけね」など、特別感を感じさせる言葉を添えると恋愛対象として見てもらえるでしょう。
【１】誰に対しても平等に優しいため、異性として意識できない
(1) He is nice to everyone without exception, but when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex he's clueless.
友達としてはいいけど、付き合っても自分以外の人にも優しくしそう」(20代女性)と自分だけの特別感が感じられなそうで彼氏候補にはできないという意見が多いようです。
"Its OK to have him as a friend, but even if I'm dating him he's still going to be nice to everyone even if it's not me." The opinion of a lot of girls in their 20's is that if a guy is kind to everyone then they can't find that special connection that they would if he were only kind to her.
女性に優しくするときは「○○さんだけね」など、特別感を感じさせる言葉を添えると恋愛対象として見てもらえるでしょう。
If guys spice up their words with phrases like, "Its only you baby", when they are being kind it gives a special feeling to the interaction and then girls might see the guy as a possible romantic interest.
My comments
I have heard this opinion from many Japanese women and I have overheard conversations where guys are saying things like, "Its only you baby." in an incredibly transparent lie yet it seems to work well at getting them laid, while simultaneously make my skin crawl and lose a ton of respect for the girls who are being sold on the crap. Speaking later with these girls I hear that they feel good when they are with that guy because "He makes me feel special". White girls don't fall for this crap, at least not the hot ones.
Japanese culture? Or the female mind in general?
【２】女友達が多く、チャラチャラしている
「誰にでも『可愛 』と言ってい 。絶対浮気するに違いない」(20代女性)と、女性に対する壁の低さを見て、彼氏にするには心配だと感じる人も多いようです。「付き合ったら一途」などのエピソードを話せば、女性の見る目が変わるかもしれません。
２】女友達が多く、チャラチャラしている
He's surrounded by so many female friends, he's just playing around and isn't for real.
「誰にでも『可愛いね』と言っていそう。
It seems like he's gonna say "You're cute" to anyone.
絶対浮気するに違いない」
He is absolutely going to cheat fo sure.
(20代女性)と、女性に対する壁の低さを見て、彼氏にするには心配だと感じる人も多いようです。
Say the girls in their 20's, in regards to how low a guy's barrier is with women, its a worry to have him as a BF.
付き合ったら一途」などのエピソードを話せば、女性の見る目が変わるかもしれません。
I don't really get this sentence, and I think it holds important information.....助けて！誰か！
My comments
This idea is very different to how many western women view popular guys. Whereas white girls don't get into a awkward fumbling loserface, these girls are saying that because a guy is so comfortable with women, its actually a concern for them and their position as his girlfriend because as far as they can see, he is just going to cheat. So although I do believe these girls find these guys attractive, their own insecurities have them keep the guys at an arms length.
【３】顔もスタイルも非の打ち所がなく、イケメンすぎる
「自分には不釣り合いだと思ってしまう。すぐ飽きて捨てられそう」(10代女性)と住んでいる世界がまるで違う人のように感じてしまい、恋愛感情を抱けないこともあるようです。飾らないトークで、もっと周囲に親しみやすさをアピールしたほうがいいかもしれません。
【３】顔もスタイルも非の打ち所がなく、イケメンすぎる
His face and fashion are spot on, he's just too hot.
「自分には不釣り合いだと思ってしまう。
Compared with me, we don't match.
すぐ飽きて捨てられそう」
He's probably gonna get tired of me and move on quickly.
(10代女性)と住んでいる世界がまるで違う人のように感じてしまい、恋愛感情を抱けないこともあるようです。
Say teenage girls who believe the world they live in is completely different to the world he lives in. They just can't feel emotions of love for this guy.
飾らないトークで、もっと周囲に親しみやすさをアピールしたほうがいいかもしれません。
This last sentence is tough....my guess =
It might be best to keep the chat simple, and appeal to her by being friendly.
My comments
Unlike western girls who seem to wanna fuck hot guys no matter how average looking and overweight they themselves are, a portion of Japanese girls tend to be intimidated by guys who they consider better looking than themselves. The simple fact that the guy wants to bone the chick down seems to not be enough validation for the girl's sense of self beauty. She can't go further into a relationship and commit to sex because she's not thinking sex, she's thinking partner, and one who she expects will leave her soon, is better off not having at all. In conclusion, don't underestimate the extreme levels of insecurity in J-girls and how they cock block you. If you are prince charming and you really want to get with girls like this, you must first give snow white the magical mirror on the wall as an unbiased source of beauty insight and have it confirm to her that she is fairest of them all before she can feel deserving of your poison apple reviving kiss.
【４】完璧主義で、自分よりもはるかに綺麗好き
「家 も常にキレイにしなきゃいけないし、付き合ったらしんどそう」(30代女性)と、キッチリしすぎて潔癖なところがある男性は、心理的な負担も多そうに感じ るようです。他人に私物を触られただけで怒ったり、携帯についた指紋をいちいち拭くなど、極端に汚れを気にするのはやめておきましょう。
【４】完璧主義で、自分よりもはるかに綺麗好き
He's a perfectionist so he outshines me in cleanliness.
「家もにキレイにしなきゃいけないし、付き合ったらしんどそう」
His place is so clean that if we were to be a couple it would be hard work.
(30代女性)と、キッチリしすぎて潔癖なところがある男性は、心理的な負担も多そうに感じるようです。
Say girls in their 30's. Men who are too clean and punctual would give psychological burdens on their women.
他人に私物を触られただけで怒ったり、携帯についた指紋をいちいち拭くなど、極端に汚れを気にするのはやめておきましょう。
If you get angry at other people touching your stuff, wipe every fingerprint off your cellphone and care way too much about being clean, give it rest. You little Nancyboy.
My comments
If I've ever needed another reason to leave my place looking like trash and walk around outside all sloppy with a 3 day growth of stubble across my face, here it is.
【５】「遊ばれてる?」と不安になるほど、女の扱いがうまい
「恋愛経験が豊富すぎる人だと、本当の感情が見えづらい」(20代女性)と、モテるがゆえに本気の恋愛をしているかどうか、疑いの目で見てしまうこともあるようです。付き合った人数などの経験値は、多少低めに設定しておいたほうがよさそうです。
【５】「遊ばれてる?」と不安になるほど、女の扱いがうまい
"Am I being played?" Anxiety coming more from the fact that he is good at dealing with women.
「恋愛経験が豊富すぎる人だと、本当の感情が見えづらい」
Its hard to see his real feelings because he has so much experience in relationships with women.
(20代女性)と、モテるがゆえに本気の恋愛をしているかどうか、疑いの目で見てしまうこともあるようです。
Guys who are popular consequently leave girls dubious on whether the relationship is real or not, say girls in their 20's.
付き合った人数などの経験値は、多少低めに設定しておいたほうがよさそうです。
Its better to set your experience with girls and numbers of ex lovers to a minimum.
My comments
In my experience of dealing with western women, being clumsy and awkward never got me laid. It wasn't until I became more adult, had more experience and became more comfortable with women did I really get to tap the fine ass of hot white chicks. White girls, with their abundance of socialization amongst the opposite sex and having been subjected to many poor attempts at pick up are generally not overly cautious of dangerous guys, good looking wild guys and outrageous party animals and generally seem to enjoy joining the party. Conversely, according to this article, a portion of Japanese girls aren't down with guys who are confident with girls and prefer the shy awkward guy who makes slow meek awkward advances and generally doesn't seem to know what he is doing.
【６】ファッションに強いこだわりがあり、女性の服装にもうるさい
「ブランドもので統一されていたりするとちょっと心配」(30代女性)と、おしゃれを極めすぎている男性は、女性にも厳しいことを言いそうだと懸念する人もいるようです。女性のファッションチェックは頭の中にとどめておき、口には出さないでおきましょう。
【６】ファッションに強いこだわりがあり、女性の服装にもうるさい
He's obsessed with fashion and won't shut up about chicks clothing either.
「ブランドもので統一されていたりするとちょっと心配」
I'm worried if the brands I have match him.
(30代女性)と、おしゃれを極めすぎている男性は、女性にも厳しいことを言いそうだと懸念する人もいるようです。
Say women in their 30's. Men who get carried away with style seem like they are going to be harsh on women's style too.
女性のファッションチェックは頭の中にとどめておき、口には出さないでおきましょう。
If you want to say something about women's fashion, don't. Just think it and let it go no further.
My Comments
I've actually never come across a foreigner in Japan that thinks too much about fashion. I've met plenty of guys that don't at all think about fashion though. Nonetheless, dressing well, then hitting on girls who don't dress well, doesn't work. Either dress average and hit on anyone, or dress well and only hit on girls who are well dressed. Then don't say much about clothes either. If you want to make comments about clothes, frame them as questions.
【７】外見はハンサムだが、パチンコや競馬など、あらゆるギャンブルを好む
「結 婚とかの将来を見据えた時にちょっと…。無限にお金をつぎ込まれそうで怖い」(20代女性)と、ルックスが好みでも、お金の使い方に不安要素が生じる場合 もあるようです。「月1万円までと決めているんだ」など、生活費に支障が出ない範囲で趣味を楽しんでいることをアピールするといいかもしれません。
【7】外見はハンサムだが、パチンコや競馬など、あらゆるギャンブルを好む
On the outside he is handsome, but he is into pachinko, horse betting and all types of gambling.
「結婚とかの将来を見据えた時にちょっと…。無限にお金をつぎ込まれそうで怖い」
"If I think about marriage or the future I fear he will use all our money."
(20代女性)と、ルックスが好みでも、お金の使い方に不安要素が生じる場合もあるようです。
Say girls in their 20's. He may look good but they feel the way he uses his money makes them anxious.
「月1万円までと決めているんだ」など、生活費に支障が出ない範囲で趣味を楽しんでいることをアピールするといいかもしれません。
If you say that you will use say, 1 man en per month only, or some amount that doesn't interfere with your standard living expenses you might be able to appeal to her that way and enjoy it only as a hobby.
My comments
Gambling is bullshit. I don't get the appeal of it at all and don't really know anyone who likes it either.
「メールや電話もほとんどできなくて、寂しい思いをしそう」(20代女性)と、人生で仕事が最優先の人とは楽しい恋愛ができなそうだと考えることもあるようです。ただし、適齢期の女性などには「経済力や将来性がありそう」と高評価かもしれません。
【８】付き合っても放置されそうなくらい仕事に打ち込みすぎている
Work plays the most important role in his life so that even if we are going out he will neglect me.
「メールや電話もほとんどできなくて、寂しい思いをしそう」
"He probably won't mail or call me and I'll get lonely."
(20代女性)と、人生で仕事が最優先の人とは楽しい恋愛ができなそうだと考えることもあるようです。
Say girls in their 20's. Men who make work the highest priority in life aren't fun lovers.
ただし、適齢期の女性などには「経済力や将来性がありそう」と高評価かもしれません。
On the other hand, girls looking to get married say, "He has great economic power and is a good future prospect." and highly rate these guys.
My comments
This is one of those annoying contradictions of nature that we as men find ourselves in when we say, "I want her to have huge tits but a tiny waist and be good in bed yet virginal with no prior experience with other guys" from a possible marriage partner. Girls want a dude who works hard to make a ton of money for them and their future, but at the same time, don't want to go out with him cause he will probably neglect her. At the end of the day, as humans, we are doomed to be unsatisfied with what we have, and crave what we don't have.
【９】見た目はさわやかなのに、下ネタになると急に生き生きし出す
「男どうしで下ネタを連発しているのを聞くと引きます…」(10代女性)と、見た目のイメージとはかけ離れた下世話な雰囲気を見て、恋愛感情が湧かないという人もいるようです。公の場では誰に見られているか分からないので、下ネタは男性限定の場にとどめておきましょう。
【９】見た目はさわやかなのに、下ネタになると急に生き生きし出す
On the outside he carries an innocent air about him but then he suddenly busts out dirty jokes and gets all excited.
「男どうしで下ネタを連発しているのを聞くと引きます…」
"I reel back in shock when he's with other guys and he talks about dirty topics with such enthusiasm."
(10代女性)と、見た目のイメージとはかけ離れた下世話な雰囲気を見て、恋愛感情が湧かないという人もいるようです。
Say teenage girls, who upon seeing the huge gap between how they imagined the guy would be like according to his appearance and how he actually is, just don't find feelings of romance well up inside them.
公の場では誰に見られているか分からないので、下ネタは男性限定の場にとどめておきましょう。
When you are in public you don't know whose ears are listening so even if you are with other guys, refrain from getting into dirty topics.
My comments
This is a teenage girl's problem along with a guy's ability to operate with class, style and discretion in public. Young girls simply aren't used to the fact that guys will be guys, but do get used to it as they get more experience. But even then, it doesn't mean they like it. It is better for us guys to be aware of our surroundings and keep our voices down when talking about risky topics. Especially as foreigners, locals love to test their ability to listen to English, and report back to anyone they know with inside gossip. I've learned this through many annoying and harsh experiences.
Overall, this is an article not about normal Jguys, but about Jguys who seem like they would be popular. To put the shoe on the other foot, its like us looking at hot white girls and coming up with reasons why we don't want to date a hot western girl who seems like she would be popular. Many foreign guys, especially ones living in Japan would prefer not to deal with the excess weight of having to date a hot western girl back home, would prefer the girls next door type, or in our case, a demure little Japanese girl that doesn't draw too much attention, and would probably come up with reasons why they don't want to date hot white girls similar to the reasons above.
Overall, in everyday society girls want guys, and guys want girls- who are on their level.
I haven't met any Japanese girls that believe these things. They seem to like pretty boys even more than Western women. This article provides false hope to losers.
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