You, your best friend, even your sister too

Hi, my name is Ransom, and girl, even though you might be half into me, I will still fuck your best friend. If your sister is down, I'll go there too. Don't think that going for your own mother is beyond me, cause if she is hot and you are hesitant and she isn't, I can't say what will happen.

But in general, if you bring a friend along to our first date together, it's only going to make things more complicated than they need to be. For the sake of us getting to know each other, we should try to just be ourselves with ourselves. I know what you are thinking, "Oh, but it's more fun with more people." Or, "What if I don't know what to say? Then it will be uncomfortable." Or even, "What will my friends think if I just go and meet a guy one on one? What if something terrible happens?"

Yeah, I can see how these are all valid concerns. You might not know what to say. More people keeps the atmosphere alive and places less pressure on anyone to talk, plus it covers the chance of me being an axe murderer with more witnesses. Its safer.

But think about it from my position; I'm not an axe murderer and I talk for a living. I will always keep the conversation alive. And if we can't somehow make fun conversation between the two of us then the chances of us having a future together are pretty low... I need to see this from the outset. PLUS if you bring a friend and she starts to like me, and she is hotter than you....then well.....

Things just aren't going to go your way.

This next story is a cautionary tale that can be summarized in a single sentence: Mongolian girl brings a friend to the date against my request not to, the friend is hotter and I end up fucking her that night.

It probably sounds like something only a terrible person would do. That may be true. I might be terrible. But as you will read on, this girl was equally terrible in a sense that you might see as such.

Anyway, I met this chick, she seemed DTF, I invited her out for a Monday evening rendezvous, she agrees.

So there I am chilling after band practice with my band members and a couple of other guys, in the bar, getting tipsy, and I get a phone call. "Hey Ransom, I'm eating dinner with my friend. We are going to come out in about 40 minutes..."
Then I'm like, "Whats all this 'we' BULLSHIT!! You ain't bringing no friends biatch! You and me gonna get busy, just us two. You know what I'm saying. Booya!"

Actually, I didn't say that at all. Kinda I wish I did, but I'm just talking big. Big bullshit. Cause I'm kinda drunk right now. Actually all my posts are done while I'm half drunk. It should be obvious. I rarely write sober.

So anyway, I said, "Really? A friend? Well.... I'd really rather just get to know you, one on one."
And she was like, "No. I'm bringing my friend."
I'm too tipsy to argue. "OK, Bring your friend. I'm here with my drummer. He doesn't speak so much Japanese, so, does your friend speak English?"
"No. My friend is Mongolian like me. We speak Mongolian and Japanese. I speak some English."
"So how will my drummer communicate?"
"I don't know."
"OK, cool. Bring your friend. This is going to be awesome."

Awesome it was.

My drummer and I come up with a swift plan. Its close to midnight. We do some activity that requires little speaking. Darts. Then see how it goes. If its going good, we go all night. If not, we go home at last train.

We meet. The friend seems leggy. And DTF. And Mongolian. Naturally, I migrate to her since we can communicate and the girl I was organizing this date with speaks English better so she can get along with my drummer more easily.

'my drummer' takes a long time to write and sounds gay. From here forth he shall be known as 'Drums'. Cool.

So Drums and mongolia are getting along great. The friend Leggy and me are doing fine. Last train is rapidly approaching. We make the call to stay out all night and get CRUNK. And crunk we get. We bounce to a few different bars and at different times switch the girls we are talking to. At one stage I notice myself stroking the ass of Mongolia as she is grinding her butt cheeks into my crotch as she bends forth to make a pool shot, and moments later her best friend leggy is standing inches too close where her tits are bumping into me. I look over and see the same thing happening with Drums. We lose track of which girls we are trying to hit on cause the blood alcohol levels are too high, I can't remember which one was initially into me, damn I need another beer cause this red wine is disagreeing with me, who's that chick over there calling over? Me or the other guy next to me? Oh shit thats drums. She wants to speak to me or him? Wat? I'm fugginn druuuunk.... I need...

to go...

to the...

bathroom.....

I always hate looking at the reflection in the mirror when I'm fucked up. My reflection always looks so fuckign smug.

I walk out of the toilet and notice leggy going into the womens...

Seems like a good time to go to the womens fo rme too...

Damn, staff are cleaning. They will catch me out fo sure. I wait around the corner for her to come out. Leggy is in the toilet. My friend Drums and the girl I initially invited out on a date, Mongolia, are out in the bar playing pool. I'm in a dark corner waiting for leggy to come out of the toilet so I can grab her and make out. Classy. As. Fuck...

She comes out, and I grab her and pull her face close. And wait. She takes the initiative and makes out with me. It's getting hot and I'm thinking we should just go into the toilet and bone. But staff come by. Conveniently. Assholes.

We go to the bar and suggest a bounce to my place. It seems good. We get more wine on the way back and in my place we start listening to funk and boogeying down to the classy shit. You know it.



At 3am. At full volume. Damn I'm gonna be hungover at work tomorrow...

Drums is dancing like a pro, Mongolia seems into it. We are having a great time, but there is only so much boogy one can boogy before they want to get jiggy. I have my arm around leggy and Mongolia gets pissed. Perhaps she likes me, or perhaps she doesn't but just realizes that this whole shindig that she brought together with her friend and my friend, that she thought she was presiding over has taken a course of action different to what she was expecting and perhaps she is realizzing she is no longer in control of what is going on. She confronts me directly. "What are you doing?"
 I'm like, "What?"
Then she's like, "what are you doing?" and she kicks me. And then she kicks me again. And I'm like, "Fuck! Ouch! Why?!"

She's pissed. I tell Drums he will seal the deal, but my apartment is too small for us both to seal the deal, and the atmosphere isn't right for group sex. So... I will tell my chick that she is tired and I will show her to the taxi, and then I will never return. I'll just go to her place with her. I tell Drums to use my place and bone that Mongolian shizzle. It is agreed.

"Ummm...Leggy is tired, so....I'm gonna show her where the taxi is so she can go home. Be back in a minute."

And we bail. Back to her place. I get through the entrance and we are tearing at each other from sexual lust. In particular, most of my clothes are being removed. Her single short skirt cocktail dress is still on however. She pulls me upstairs and places me on her bed. I'm thinking shit is about to get kinky until she says, "Wait here." and she bails.

By this time the sun is coming up. I'm losing my drunk and my hangover is approaching. I'm feeling dry. I look around at her bedroom. It looks like a child's bedroom. She has colorful walls and a dresser with the lower shelf painted red, the middle is yellow and the higher one is green. There is a desk in the corner. A very small wooden desk. Probably used for homework. Seriously, its like a playhouse and its creeping me the fuck out.

She reemerges after showering off with her make up removed (why?!) and a class of milk in her hand.

A GLASS OF FUCKING MILK! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! 

We are about to fuck, and she is holding a glass of milk? She asks me if I want any. Fuck no! I'm so damn tanked full of beer, wine and vodka that if I added milk to the mixture it would immediately curdle and reanimate as puke on her floor. Grosstastic spewgazm. Why milk? And why did she take off her make up?

Anyway, we put the milk aside and I bone her leggy legginess, that isn't that leggy without the heels, but still good. We have fun. And eventually the blazing sun, my hangover and my need to go to work get in the way. I bail.

I get back to my place expecting to see Drums and Mongolia passed out or sexing but the apartment is empty. Later I find out that as soon as we left, she pulled out my futon and they fucked. Hahaha! Everyone wins!

I guess it isn't so bad to bring a friend along to a first date!