Facing the fear and unknown

Sometimes I think about the girlfriend I broke up with 5 months ago. When I say I "sometimes" think about her, I mean I constantly think about her everyday. Sometimes I have dreams about her. I woke up this morning from a very vivid dream. I saw her and her fiance (she had met her husband in this dream). I looked at the guy and he looked like a douchebag- naturally. She told me that she loved him and she didn't want to speak to me. I told them both that I hated them both and that I wanted to take a knife and cut out his reproductive organs so that she wouldn't have to suffer a life of living with his ugly children.

I would never say such a thing in real life and it actually woke me up well before my alarm. My subconscious mind is not a nice person.
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They tell me that Japanese girls are shy. Then they tell me that actually shyness is a form of Japanese beauty. So girls are acting shy because they want to appear more appealing to men. They want to look more appealing to men so they can have more sex! Hell yeah! I told this to a foreign chick friend and she said Japanese girls don't want sex, they want to get married. I tend to agree with her here.

Another thing I have noticed is fear. Fear is attraction and the unknown.
For example, if I see a really sexy lady, I feel fear in talking to her, more than I would feel fear in talking to an ugly old guy. Simply because I am attracted to the girl. Even if my motive is to just say hello, I have more fear talking to the girl. If I know a beautiful girl, from a friend or whatever, I don't feel fear. Simply because I know her, she is not unknown. If I go into a place I have never been to I might feel a little hesitant, simply because it's the unknown.

Women have these feelings too. Foreign girls find me less attractive compared to Japanese girls, so when I talk to them they have ZERO fear in talking to me. But after they do become more interested in me, I start to see some fear. Like avoiding eye contact and then getting caught in eye contact and gazing too dreamily they notice what they are doing and snap back.

So, in order to get the most out of the shy pretty Japanese girl who fears the unknown, we must take her position into consideration.
1. She must know the person to stop fearing the unknown.
2. She would best know the agenda of the person talking to her.
3. She must maintain her shy act to remain attractive, even though it conflicts with what she actually wants to do, which is talk and learn more about the "exotic" foreign guy. Although she has the feeling that she wants to talk, she is too shy and scared to do it.

Quite often I run into the conflicting state. She is scared, but is attracted. The result is a deer in headlights. No speaking and not very responsive, but stuck in a gaze where she isn't either coming or going. I think another thing is that girls who want to remain 'cute' and therefore shy, fear speaking will make them less cute. And it's kinda true. Last time I was overseas, the girls were shooting their mouths off in a very unattractive, unfeminine way. It was not good for my attraction towards them. Plus they are fat.

Last week I approached a chick on the street who was in a hurry to be somewhere. I said hi. She said nothing and continued walking. She felt fear of the unknown and she didn't know my agenda. I let her walk on. Then I reapproached and told her that I just wanted to say hi. She ignored me again. Then I ran after her again and re approached with my agenda right up front. This time I wasn't unknown and since she had already acted shy she could engage a little bit more. I said (in Japanese) "Hello again. I'm here to nampa you. How are you doing this evening? you're in quite a hurry." She told me she was married. I told her that's ok, we don't have to have sex, maybe just a little kissing. Then she just burst out laughing. Mind you I was saying this in a very low pressure way. I asked her about her ring and she showed me, so she was being genuine. But, the hypothesis rings through. To overcome the fear of the unknown, you must familiarize yourself with the person possibly with repeated approaches with the agenda out front. More testing is required to create a theory from this hypothesis. I'm happy to run through test procedure.