When I talk about this with Japanese girls they get shocked and say that it's not true. Then after some time they eventually admit they they have thought about it. Then 2/3 times they will say that if their BF is too busy to meet them they end up finding another boyfriend (or two). But they don't like doing that because they can't introduce him to the friends and family.
These women are not 'slutty' in their mind or in the conventional sense because they won't have a one night stand, it has to be a meaningful relationship, even though it is based on lies.I have been that other guy on occasions. The guy who the girl is cheating with her BF/husband on. Not only in Japan but other countries also.
The first time it happened I remember being shocked and hurt, angry until I was dizzy. I remember making bold claims to myself that I would steal the girl and make her my own. I remember pacing my room back and forth, anxious and unknowing what to do, thinking that I had to hold onto this emotion and not push it back. I didn't want it to resurface at some weird time, just hold it until it passes. I blamed myself, then I blamed the girl, then I blamed the other guy. Then I wondered who was with her first and who did she really belong to? The youth, the naivety. Such a blissful ignorance I had been living in. As they would say in Japan, γΎγ ηγ。
I ended up exhausted from the emotion and went to bed. I woke up the next day feeling great. I realized that I didn't own anyone and she didn't belong to me, and that of course she was free to do whatever. They say the best revenge is to live a successful life- so that weekend I found the hottest girl that I worked with (she was hot!), and I hooked up with her. I wanted the news to travel. I wanted to the first girl to find out about it and become jealous. I wanted her to hurt. Such pettiness. Such a weak way to live out my life. The funny thing was, the new girl had a boyfriend too.
Since then it's happened numerous times. I guess the experience left a mark, because from that first time I reflected on what would prevent a girl from leaving me. I thought that the best way to do this was to be the best lover, the best guy in bed. I have read so many books on the topic, experimented with so many different ideas, and learned to do crazy things that are just beyond most people's understanding of what good sex can be. I still I feel I have a lot to learn, but these days I do it through a genuine interest in the topic, not through a fear that I'm not good enough.
Even still, with the amazing sex box ticked off, I still feel that people want some sort of side action to accompany their long and strong bond with their loved one. This researcher supports the idea. It's a video lecture that goes for about 20 minutes. Interesting if your into physiology/love/sex. Something she said that stood out to me was, "Humans are created for reproducing, not happiness. We make our own happiness with that." or something of the like. It's near the end. Check it out- she has a lot of interesting things to say about sexuality.
Recently I want side action. I have basically turned down all the girls that have been coming my way since I haven't really wanted to push myself to go after them. I also started to think about easier alternatives. I've been looking at prostitution websites. I've slept with hookers before (see Thailand posts from a year ago) so it wouldn't be anything new. I looked at the prices, I looked at the girls. The girls looked good, but really, couldn't I just do this for free?
Upon a whim, I left my apartment, walked into the street, started talking to girls and eventually picked up a cute 22 year old nutritionist with a seriously tight body and hot boots at the convenience store nearby.
We had dinner the other night.
She was charming in her pleasant relaxed confidence and her eyes looked at me playfully while her composure was calm. We talked about nothing of particular interest.
She wants to meet again...
I do too.
I wonder if she has a boyfriend...
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