Japanese image of sex appeal

Once upon a time, long long ago, in a country far from Japan, I was an innocent young boy who looked at a Japanese woman with eyes of curiosity. What was this figure? Why were her eyes so different in color and shape to mine? Why was her hair so black and straight while her skin so pale? Why couldn't she speak properly and why did I have to bother to learn her stupid language? I was never going to need to use it. It was a useless waste of time.

I was looking at the language teacher who came in to teach my 5th grade class the Japanese language and culture. I hated language class. My mother tried to help me study for the test and made me learn the basic characters but I still sucked and barely scraped a pass. I was happy when the Japanese class ended and was replaced with Italian. I kicked butt at Italian but I turned out to be completely wrong about never needing the Japanese language.

When I got into middle high school an immigrant Thai girl in the grade above had the hots for me and asked me out. I was a bit reluctant at first since she wasn't my nationality. But I ended up going out with her because I had no reason not to and if I looked closely, she was just like the other white girls, only, her tan covered her whole body (hot!) and her eyes, although they were different, seemed kind of mysterious. She was cute too!

I mostly dated girls older than me after that point up until recently, but never really sought out Asian girls after her. I did notice that I found myself interested in them when they showed up around the place. So different from the western figure I knew so well.

It was a short while after I actually came to Japan that I found an interest in Japanese women. At first I was shocked by how small in stature they were. They all looked like children and not yet matured into adults. And why did they carry sun umbrellas and try to keep white skin? Tans are sexy! Yet after some weeks of being immersed in them, and having a severe lack of western options, I noticed myself starting to distinguish between the ones that drew my attention more and I felt some attraction rise in me.

Through conversation with locals about girls and guys and through my own eyes I started to notice the distinguishing features of what makes a Japanese woman attractive and the contrast in this to the western ideals.

Western men generally prefer sexy and sultry looking 'sport models' who don't look as though they will snap in half or go running in fear if you throw a volley ball in their direction. Long hair, tight stomach, and busty cleavage is essential.

The Japanese image of sex appeal has some similarity and some contrasts. Although long hair, tight stomach, and busty cleavage is a plus, many men prefer an innocent looking, child like face in place of a sultry women comfortable in her sex appeal. A woman with the look of bewilderment struck upon her, reminiscent of Bambi prancing though the meadows allows the the men to feel that she is friendly approachable, and will be easily pleased at our lame attempts at humor.

While Caucasian people see a variety of body shape, hair style, hair color and eye color, the distinguishing features of Japanese women is a lot less prominent and making themselves distinguished from one another through grooming is big business. However, there are natural features that they focus in on a lot further than western people notice.

The size of one's face, eyes and mouth seem to be very important. While I had never looked at a woman, or a man and thought to myself, "Wow, his/her face is small." It seems that due to the influence of living here, I am often looking at face size and making judgments upon that. Small face with big round eyes and large mouth- that is cute according to Japan.

Men also share the some similar attractive qualities. Whist broad shouldered hardened men with chiseled abs and a prominent jaw line would be extremely sought after in the west, this image of "macho" leaves many Japanese women feeling overwhelmed and from what I hear, scared. Sorry JonnyGuns. Your stature is too intimidating for most and the gap between you and Japan will be hard to close without a decent grip on the language. You might find an English speaking girl that has studied abroad and is used to the macho culture, but most likely she won't be as attractive as the girl who never stepped outside Japan.

What these girls often idolize is a sweet young nice guy with well maintained hair and slightly groomed eyebrows. Something very important is the appearance of kindness. It seems they want someone they imagine they could be comfortable with. A small face with big eyes, a friendly smile that doesn't come out too often in order to maintain the aura of cool, are just a few of Kimutaku's (one of Japan's biggest male celebrities) main charm points. He also keeps his fashion changing to keep up with the times and to cover his slight frame and lean build. And although he wears a hell of a lot of really crappy fashion mistakes, no one seems to mind because he balances it out by wearing the pain stuff too.

My take on all of this is that I'm still pretty foreign in the fact that I'm not incredibly interested in the 'I'm a sweet innocent child' look that many girls try to create. When they act like children it often comes across as contrived in order to get away with something and is about as attractive as a guy acting tough to garnish attention from women. I prefer the women I date to have some semblance of independence and comfort in their sexuality.

In terms of my look, I go halfway and have a physique what the Japanese call 'hosomacho' which basically means lean and athletic. I work out to some degree, but don't go nuts like I used to. My face is small and my eyes are obviously big and round because I'm foreign. To the people here, I look like an animation or game character. As for my fashion, I like to get into the clothes they sell here. I've always been interested in different ways of dressing and being in Japan allows me to try all sorts of styles without being attacked on the street for looking like I'm 'trying to be a rockstar'. But since I quit my rock band earlier this year, I've been changing my fashion a little. I might do some more posts on fashion in the future because I really like Japanese fashion, but I also really hate Japanese fashion. The vest is fine, but you won't see me wearing that shirt that Kimura is wearing in the photo above. Yikes!