I get nervous

sometimes......

It's strange though, cause it doesn't ever really happen that often.

My plan was to study in a cafe near my house. Trying to write a report at home is hard because there are so many distractions.

As I'm walking about the area meandering to my favorite cafe my eyes are drawn to the figure of a short girl. Round toed black army boots, a pink top tied in place with black string, reminiscent of some kind of corset- more fitting for underwear than over wear- and a black frilly tutu. It was almost as if the army had deployed a ballerina to perform an S&M reconnaissance mission in broad daylight right in my neighborhood.

I notice her eyes shoot outward at me and through my over sized sunglasses I catch her taking more than a casual glance. As we pass I turn my head ever so slightly and look back at her. A mixture of curiosity and sexual interest. Perhaps I should talk to her? No, I'm supposed to be studying, not macking on chicks.

I think nothing more and enter the cafe. Moments later she appears outside the front window where I am sitting looking out at her. She notices me, smiles, enters and takes a seat next at the table near.

When things like this happen, I generally just start talking and make conversation, but there are times when I get nervous. I don't know why. She is not spectacular in appearance, kinda cute, kinda sexy... We look at each other and smile. A mixture of interest combined with air of nonchalance exudes her. Her green contact lensed eyes cut into me sharp and with her smile I notice she has braces. This is definitely someone's sexual fantasy, even if it's not mine. I eat lunch and try to study, glancing over my shoulder at her shapely figure every now and then, only to notice that she is doing the same to me.

After some time she writes something on her diary and tears the piece of paper off. I wonder if she is going to make a pass. She sits and reconsiders, puts the paper back in her diary and stands up to leave. I follow moments later and make a quick move into the direction where she was headed. I'm feeling nervous still. Why? It feels like my heart is moving too fast for a simple nampa like this. I walk quickly up the street, looking left looking right. She couldn't have gone far. I can't see her. I've lost her. What a runaround!

From around a corner in the edge of my eyes, a pink and black figure appears.

"Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Ransom."
I can't believe I'm so fucking nervous I'm actually shaking.
"Ah... Hello.."
We talk for a few moments in both English and Japanese and I find out that she is on her way to a rock show. She asks for my phone email quite quickly, directly and unashamedly.

We started mailing tonight.

She's young. 19 years old. Lives quite far away. The fact that I was nervous makes me way more attracted to her...