I have a girlfriend now

"Never in my life have I seen an oak tree of a man hit a bitch and come out wood chips like I have him. She totally cut him down to size." -Me, in reference to one of my friends getting "whipped" by his girlfriend (yes I quote myself even though I'm not that cool, whaddayagonnadoaboudit fool?).

When a guy loses his sense of self and bases it on his women and when he puts his personal goals and pleasure in life aside and focuses only on appeasing his woman, I consider him "whipped". I consider this a bad thing for the relationship on so many levels.

I had a tough conversation with the nail artist the other day. About four hours of serious talking where we 'broke up' then got back together as a monogamous 'boyfriend and girlfriend' couple. I'm still not sure how she managed to do it but it happened. Thinking back on it, I would say the whole thing was pretty unnecessary and if we had just kept going as things were without the bullshit drama then I wouldn't be sitting here right now considering 'dumping' her, again.

Demands from her;
I want you to love me and say you miss me.
I want to be more than just sex.
I want to know specifically why you love me.
I want to be assured that you love me for who I am so that in the future if you don't want to fuck me we will still be together.
I don't want you to cheat on me.

Replies from me;
How can I love you already? Love takes time.
Want to be more to me than sex? Then BE more than sex.
Why do YOU think you love me. You don't know ANYTHING about me.
Why would I want to stop sexing you? I love sex. I don't think you realize how much I love it.
Cheating...? no comment....

This 'love' shit is too heavy for a chill guy like me. Why doesn't she make like a boat and go with the flow?
If I were to get real with her I would say that I believe the entire universe is interconnected as one and the base composition is love. If we are able to free our minds of the distracting thoughts we constantly have and experience 'being' objectively and move deeper away from existence we would more easily connect with the universe and the love that creates it. When we hit mad peaks in orgasm our mind is able to -stop- and free itself of thought and experience love and the intense amounts of pleasure associated with it.
What she is experiencing is admiration of a man that can bring her this state of mind and pleasure state of body. This is entirely different to loving a person through intimacy and unique kinship.
I couldn't begin to explain it, and I don't think she would want to hear it anyway.

I got a little bit pissed off because the fact remains that she is still married and in no place to be getting up on my case about this type of shit.

To me it seems like humans define their sense of self worth based on the way other people treat them instead of choosing to define themselves through their own choice, belief and actions. When a person can look inside and create a certain sense of self from the strength they have within, they won't need to seek it from other people. Yet we are humans mostly don't do this and thus we need to be reassured that our actions and opinions and choices are correct, that we have reason and value to give the world from our existence. People with particularly weak character seek validation from others and this can be a very mentally draining task to those who are burdened with it.

This nail artist is in a needy place right now. She has a young child, her husband told her to get the hell out of his house, she lives with her family now and it only just happened a matter of months ago. I need to reply to her mails and let her know she is important at least 3 times a day! FUCK!

I don't need this shit. I don't need to spend my life appeasing a women and I don't need to be hassled about having feelings I don't have.