The saga of 'Jugs'

If there were a male version of 'Sex and the City' it would nowhere be near able to represent the reality of what men talk about when women aren't around in regards to sex and relationships. It's just way too derogatory for TV and men don't necessarily want to hear it (on TV), and women certainly don't.
I met up with some of my guys last night and had good catch up session and more than a few times I wished there was a tape recorder getting the conversation down because some of the things were so hilarious and some were just nasty. Here I'm trying to represent a small portion of what we talked about.
*Nicknames are given to respect identity.

Mr.T: I can't believe *Jugs showed up on Saturday night and cried.
Funkcat: Yea that was a downer.
Me: What!? You mean that loser chick that I dated once cried at your party? WTF was she doing there anyway? I saw her and did my best to avoid her.
Mr.T: Yea man. She was crying because of you.
Me: WTF! I did nothing.
Funkcat: Well, I made her cry first, then Mr.T made her cry hard.
Charmboy: Yea, she sux.
Mr.T: Total energy suck. Such a drain. You called it from the start.
Me: Damn right I did. I can't believe you guys even hung out with her. What happened with the crying?

Mr.T: Well, she's been contacting us all the time through Keitai and Facebook asking about you, asking if you are still angry or whatever. She's trying to get in on us, inviting us out and then inviting herself to our shit. I don't know why she is doing it since she has no place with anyone but you, but we were replying to keep things smooth because of her cute friend. They were both there at the BBQ the other week and left before you came. Her friend is cute though, and it's between Charmboy and Funkcat to work that out but it looks like Jugs is just going to pussy block her friend and cockblock us.

Me: Whoa, shit's been going on. You guys gotta make claim with a Janken showdown!
Charmboy: She's all yours.
Funkcat: I'm over her.
Me: Yea, I saw Jugs at the party last Saturday, but I kinda came late and left early. I was with the nail artist and we had been fucking and wanted to leave to fuck more. I bumped into Jugs and she asked if I was angry at her. I was thinking, "Huh? Why do I even give a shit about you? You remind me of my boring ass lonely loser students. I forgot about you already because you flaked. I thought that's what you wanted." But I ended up just saying, "No. I'm not angry...."
I think her imagination is just trying to create some drama to liven up the void in her boringass life. She sux. She told me that she sent me a friend request on Facebook which I've been ignoring and I lied and was like, "Yea. I didn't notice." Then she was like all, "電話していいの？” (can I call you?). I was like, "Yea cool..... I gotta go." And went back to hanging with the nail artist.

Charmboy: Chick needs cock.
Me: She could get some cock easy if she weren't so princess about it. No one wants to deal.

Funkcat: I know that so I tried to hook her up. So, I guess a while after you left I was standing drunkass with my arm around 'Finicky' (male) and Jugs comes up and wants to get under my other arm. So I put my arm around her and say to Finicky in a low voice in English, all the while not expecting her to understand, "This chick here isn't the brightest spark, isn't the most fun girl, has a fair bit of baggage, but has great jugs. I think if you go for it, she will be down." I turn back and she's in tears. I turn back to Finicky and say, "Scrap that idea."

Me: BAAAHAAHAHAHAHA No you DIDN'T!! She DIDN'T!! What?! Hilarious.

Mr.T: Then she comes up to me later asking what the deal is with you leaving with the nail artist. She's like, "Who was that girl? Is it his girlfriend? Was it because of something I did? Something I said?" By this time I was done explaining on your behalf and I was done with her and her sad ass sneaking her losershit into our hangouts and uglying up our group pics with her douchface. I said, "Non of this has anything to do with you. Anything that Ransom does has absolutely NOTHING to do with you!" she said she got it, but I said, "No! You don't get it! Anything that anyone here is doing is not because of you and has nothing. to. do. with. you. at. all!"
She started crying.

Me: OMG! You assholes! Haha. Ouch.

Funkcat: You think she would have left and gone home after that. But she stayed and cried and tried to suck everyone into her depression. ALL NIGHT. kinda rude to think about it....
Me: No way! What!? Shutup! She stayed at the party crying? Get the fuck out!
Mr.T: I'm pretty sure we won't be seeing her anymore.
Charmboy: You never know though.
Funkcat: We should just be direct to her friend and say we wanna hang out with her. Only. Without 'Jugs'.
Charmboy: They got that whole co-worker senpai/kouhai shit going on. Jugs is the Senpai. The kouhai won't betray her work senpai. Forget about them. Anyway, changing topic, I set up a date with one of those chicks we met at........
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