Understanding Orgasm

I want to take some time to talk about something that is so important to me I would almost say it is beyond important. Men should know, and if they don't, should want to know more about orgasm. Specifically, woman's orgasm. Having a solid interest in orgasm has been my passion for the last couple of years and knowing what I do has given me so much of my self confidence and enjoyment with spending time with women. So let's start this series from the top with a definition. What is orgasm?

Orgasm is a peak in sexual arousal. It seems really simple and it is. Yet for some reason a lot of women don't experience it during intercourse. I can't remember the stats exactly but something like one third of women experience orgasms occasionally and one third never experience orgasm during intercourse. Why not? Simple. They aren't aroused during sex.
What are the reasons for this and how can we change them? To understand better, we need to both understand orgasm and women more.

A peak in sexual arousal doesn't necessarily mean a peak in physical stimulation. It's hard to really separate from that conception, but we need to. A peak in arousal comes from how far a person is turned on, more concisely, how far their mind finds what is happening as erotically stimulating. It is public knowledge that boys experience wet dreams as they enter puberty. In these dreams we experience what we think are sexually arousing scenes and then we wake up in the morning with sticky underwear after having an orgasm. Women also experience such erotic dreams yet it seems to be less common knowledge (to men at least). How is it that we can dream about sex and have a physical reaction? How is it possible to be asleep and have an orgasm with no physical stimulation whatsoever?

The answer is arousal.

The level of arousal you perceive will result in a physical reaction. When men begin to get aroused, penis' become harder pupils dilate etc. Women get wetter and they also dilate in preparation for penetration. This may happen before any physical contact has happened. While keeping this idea of arousal without touching in mind, think about the possibility of increasing that arousal -somehow- to an ultimate peak in arousal. This will result in orgasm. That's why we hear about guys who jizz their pants. I have never jizzed my pants, but if I had the mental control to jizz my pants, I would wear three layers of underwear and jizz my pants all day!

I believe erotic arousal is based on two main factors; The sexual partner and The situation.
The notion that most guys have about doing long foreplay will result in getting her aroused may be true, but what I find to be more important is whether or not she finds the guy arousing. He himself. Is he a man that inspires her to want to bring out her raw sexuality and open up to full sexual arousal? If he is, then he can just do anything and she will be aroused, waaaaaay before they get intimate. On top of that, is the situation in which they are interacting arousing? Is he at a BBQ with her getting all drunk and shooting his mouth off or is he in high spirits laughing and chatting with everyone and maybe even playing some sports? Wining and dining with boring conversation about work or fun flirtatious chat? In an airplane? All of which can be good and bad lead ups to sex, played out different ways.

Each person is aroused by different things, people and situations. Some things are very specific and very odd. For some guys, a threesome with 2 tall busty blonds would be great. For other guys the idea of this would be too intimidating and would thus prefer one small submissive asian girl. Personally I want both. In my time of talking to women about fetish and erotica I have found many, many different and random things that they find arousing. For some women the idea of a man they can marry is really arousing yet for others a foreign guy that they know they can't marry is much more arousing. For some women and men the very specific thought of going inside and outside a marriage is very arousing. Glasses may be hot, very well built football players may be, Sumo wrestlers for other girls. I once talked to a girl who's very specific turn on was men in their 50's that look plain and are overweight. She was a cute 19 year old at the height of her fetish! She passed this phase and broadened her horizons when she turned 21 though. Some women can be so specific and critical about what a guy can and can't do to be hot they don't realize they are really just limiting their ways for enjoying erotica.

"So, for a guy to really get her off, the man has to be her fantasy guy in her fantasy situation?" Not so fast sonny Jim! You don't have to be Superman saving Lois Lane from a falling airplane to make a girl hot enough to truly enjoy sex. Perhaps her ideal type of guy has XYZ quality, yet you are not this type of guy and don't have this quality. That puts you at a disadvantage to getting her off as easily as her ideal type, but fear not good friend! Every man has the potential to become a sexual object with the base qualities that most women find attractive just like our buddy Al Pacino. Trying to be her ideal is not the way to go in order to get her off. Pushing against your natural grain will make you feel uncomfortable and you will come across as stiff as a board. Women can sense this (sensitive creatures they are) and will simply interpret it as "creepy." Any person can be sexy via natural means, just like Al does. If you aren't tall, or good looking take a lesson from him. It is not his look that is sexy, it is his actions.

Speaking from my position, if I want to get hot western football cheerleader I should most likely be 10-20kgs heavier and act like a tough guy. I'm not a tough guy though, and women don't want that in me. I play to my strengths, being a chill musician type, and the women that find me appealing respond. This leaves me at a loss for who I can choose, but because I meet so many different women by being naturally sociable, I have invariably unlimited options and choose amongst them. This gives me the first step towards gaining easy arousal. Then I can just talk to her and she will be loving it.

Keep an eye out for more articles of this topic coming soon!