Tomoki is the craziest

This blog has to be the most fun creative venture I've taken part in in a while. But right now I will stop talking about my adventures in Thailand to pay respects to Tomoki.
Tomoki is not his real name but he is a Japanese company worker. He is a young guy focused on his future very clearly and he has a quirky sense of humor that is right up my alley. He studies English like a machine and kicks ass at it.
The other day he came and talked to me. It might not be funny in print, but god damn you better believe I was nearly on the floor laughing. It's mostly cause you don't expect this coming from a Japanese business man.

Me: How you doin man?
Tomoki: I'm pumped
Me: Pumped?
Tomoki: Yeah. I am psyching up.
Me: What for?
Tomoki: Rocky
Me: What are you talking about man?
Tomoki: Later. Tonight. I will see Rocky five. Yeah, I am pumped. After Rocky five. I will be so pumped. Then I am going to punch my boss in the face.
Me: hahahahahaa What?
Tomoki: Yeah, she's a bitch.
Me: Whoa! Your boss is a woman? You can't punch a girl. But if you do you better have your running shoes on cause the law will be after you. Is she a bit of a 'control freak', do you know that word?
Tomoki: (Turns his head and looks me directly in the eyes) I want to control my girlfriend!
Me: (bursting out laughing and still a little creeped out at the same time) You what now?
Tomoki: Yes, you heard me. I want to control her.
Me: Dude! Serious! What!? Are you one of those guys that calls up his girlfriend at night and asks if she is still out with her friends, and when she says 'yes' you get all jealous and angry at her and tell her to go home?
Tomoki: No no no, I don't call her and I don't get angry- I just chase her!
Me: Cool. So I need relationship advice. If a girl I really like dumps me, what should I do?
Tomoki: People do different things, but I know what I would do. I would tell her that she can leave if she wants to, but I will chase her. I will look at her and say, "I'm serious. I will chase you".
Me: Dude, you are killer. Personally, if a girl wants to leave me, holding her hostage will make me feel like a loser. I would rather let her go.
Tomoki: Yes, that is one of many options. But there are many options to choose from when making decisions. I choose to stalk. EYE OF THE TIGER.


Ladies, don't hang out with guys like Tomoki. He may be funny (to me only), but behind every joke lies a little truth. He may become a weird killer type one day. Guys, don't be like Tomoki. Jokes are all good, but if a chick doesn't like you, you gotta let her go.